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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I cannot work out if he is straight or gay

59 replies

bridie69 · 27/10/2015 23:45

Anyone else experienced this? A man recently moved in to the local area and politely introduced himself to some of the neighbours. I see him around the place from time to time and he joined a choir I am part of. I really don't want to stereotype but he is quite a lot different to some of the local guys, always well dressed and groomed, seems totally at ease speaking to women and according to my friends Mum spent ages talking to an elderly lady locally about the flowers in her front garden. He lIves by himself and is 40ish. I used to always think it was obvious but not so much these days it seems.

OP posts:

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Arfarfanarf · 27/10/2015 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 27/10/2015 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wolfiefan · 27/10/2015 23:51

Why should it concern you? Unless you want to sleep with him!

AnyFucker · 27/10/2015 23:51

Why do you need to know ?

VodkaValiumLattePlease · 27/10/2015 23:51

ShowOfBloodyStumps · 27/10/2015 23:54

Could you look on his social media perhaps?

WHAT?

NO. Why does it matter?

StarTravels · 27/10/2015 23:57

A man who washes and is kind to the elderly must be gay?

MardyBra · 28/10/2015 00:00

"spent ages talking to an elderly lady locally about the flowers in her front garden."

Oh he must be then. Just to be sure, you need to check if he likes musicals, wears double denim, has a rainbow flag in the garden or has an extensive collection of Queen, Village People or Ethal Merman music.

MardyBra · 28/10/2015 00:02

Shit, I forgot Eurovision. You need to get Eurovision into the conversation. If he knows his Conchitas from his Johnny Logans, it's a dead cert.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 28/10/2015 00:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bridie69 · 28/10/2015 00:05

I don't need to know no.But I would like to know. I just would. I don't think he is on fb as he said he doesn't like it.There is a difference of opinion about it amongst those I talk to and yes I know it is none of our business. Just wondered if you'd ever encountered anyone you weren't sure about.

OP posts:

bridie69 · 28/10/2015 00:07

And Mardybra I didn't think the sarcasm was necessary.

OP posts:

MardyBra · 28/10/2015 00:09

My Dh is pretty good with soft furnishings and watches Strictly. I'm doomed, aren't I?

Seriously OP, if you're not romantically interested, why not just get to know the guy without having to pigeonhole him. Sorry if I've been a little facetious, but stereotypes aren't always great indicators, and the guy is entitled to his privacy until he wants to let you know.

Klaptout · 28/10/2015 00:09

How odd, why do you need to know? Do you check the sexuality of everyone you vaguely know?

MardyBra · 28/10/2015 00:10

X post due to slow typing. Apology withdrawn.

MardyBra · 28/10/2015 00:11

Due to chippiness.

Seeyounearertime · 28/10/2015 00:13

Noone tell OP I'm a Kylie Minogue fan who loves My Little Pony. I also know my dress size and how to walk in heels.
I remove my body hair with nair and magic powder, that's all body hair, back, crack, sack, chest, legs, feet, forearms and backs of hands.
My eyebrows are 'maintained' as is the nose hair and ear hair.
I also wear earrings, 1 in each ear

I've been thought gay, I understand why. I've always said that the only reason I'm not gay is that I've never met a man I've fancied. Lol.

MadeMan · 28/10/2015 00:14

I don't think he sounds particularly gay from what you've written about him so far.

Seeyounearertime · 28/10/2015 00:15

My point was that it's not always clear and you can only ever know someone's sexuality from whom theyre sexually attracted to.
forgot that bit, sorry.

bridie69 · 28/10/2015 00:16

I know he is entitled to privacy as are we all. I was just curious about the way people are perceived and wouldn't dream of asking him about it it is his business after all.

OP posts:

BigChocFrenzy · 28/10/2015 00:17

He just sounds a nice civilised bloke.

Seeyounearertime · 28/10/2015 00:19

He just sounds a nice civilised bloke

Which, of mumsnet boards are to be believed, are a much rarer breed than gay men nowadays. Lol

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Arfarfanarf · 28/10/2015 00:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bloomsberry · 28/10/2015 00:28

What's depressing about your op is the assumption that normative masculinity involves knuckle-dragging, dubious personal hygiene and knocking elderly women off the footpath. Or something.

bridie69 · 28/10/2015 00:30

I don't think it is "being debated" just happens some of us discussed it as someone mentioned it. And yes as it happens I AM interested in him, the first one in a long time excludino a potential long distance one that now looks unlikely. So sorry if it sounds gossipy or whatever but I'd prefer not to make a total fool of myself. Where I live all the other blokes are just interested in sports and polishing their cars and some of them are out and out sexist arseholes who beep at young girls like my ?D even though she could be their daughter age wise. So this man is just different I guess.

OP posts:

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