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Struggling with NC

(4 Posts)
lostremotecontrol Mon 26-Oct-15 20:59:11

Broke up 18 days ago.

Ex was a mean, selfish drunk who took, took took.

I was a stupid, naive, fool who gave all the time.

But he wasn't always like this - we had two years when, apart from a few ups and downs, we were good. Then a year when things went downhill, culminating in abuse, cheating - text/Facebook, not physical - and general horribleness, stemming from his MH and drinking issues.

I miss him. There's been a couple of texts about exchanging belongings - all fine,nothing heavy at all.

But I feel so sad knowing my future isn't going to be what I thought it would be, with him.

Don't get me wrong - I know he was bad news and I wouldn't get back with him if you paid m, because with time comes clarity and a realisation of just how controlling he could be.

I just miss knowing there was someone who cared for me. Well, sort of.

I loved the little conversations we had before bed, and when we woke up, and I miss those, as well as the physical closeness.

I can't imagine ever being with anyone again. I don't want the risk of being let down again, but I also don't want to be alone forever.

OLD seems like a minefield, and I worry that I'm broken because of this relationship.

I want to text, to ask how he is. But as soon as I do that I'll be so disappointed in myself.

So I posted on here instead - any words of reassurance would be most welcome xxx

Nevergoingtolearn Mon 26-Oct-15 21:55:54

How old are you? I'm sure you won't be alone for ever, splitting up is really hard, I felt the same, the first 2 months I was a mess, I started OLD which was probably a bad thing to do, although it took my mind off of things I really wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone else.

The best thing you can do is arrange for him to collect his things and then cut all contact, it will be hard but in time you will realise how brilliant life is without him ( believe me, I'm so much happier now ).

Shouldknowbetter2015 Mon 26-Oct-15 22:23:02

I'm nearly 5 months on from split with P. I went NC and it was hard. I've only seen him a couple of times to exchange stuff he had at mine & vice versa. I still think about him a lot & want to text every day... But so far I haven't given in because I don't want to let myself down or give him the satisfaction of knowing I still think about him. He was abusive & a bully, dressed up as mr charming. The desire & longing is gradually being replaced by anger. In fact I'm really bloody angry at how I was treated by him. Keep going, don't give in and gradually you will feel better & stronger. Good luck

springydaffs Tue 27-Oct-15 03:57:49

Lonely? You want that companionship, you had it with him, you don't any more, you never will bcs he's a dick

You don't want him, you want companionship.

As hard as it is, you have to get used to being on your own. I have been on my own for a while - I notice I talk to myself when I go to bed! I only noticed this bcs I have new neighbours and I wonder if they hear me. I'm just downloading...

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