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Is this it? Warning: Self pity ahead

(4 Posts)
RivieraKid Mon 26-Oct-15 10:17:50

Ever since my fiance chucked me I've fallen into a bit of a slump, I know I'm already a bit freaked out by 30 looming up in a couple of months and not having having my life 'together enough', losing him as well makes me feel like I've had a grenade tossed into my life. Basically I'm lonely and sad and wonder if I'm going to be left on the shelf (title should have read warning: shelf pity) or if I'll ever meet a partner without severe depression that I end up looking after. I often think I deliberately choose people who are dependent on me emotionally otherwise I can't see them staying.

All in all, a bit of a downer.

RiceCrispieTreats Mon 26-Oct-15 10:25:33

No, this is not it. But you're allowed to be in a slump after a break-up: when life hits us with something painful, we need some time to lick our wounds and recharge - perfectly normal.

Since you've identified a pattern of hooking up with the emotionally needy, how about talking through those issues with a therapist? It helps to identify patterns, understand their causes, and work out alternative patterns with a professional, in order to save you making the same mistakes again in the future.

And since you're feeling low, do things that will lift you up a bit - it's just good self-care. Eat and sleep properly, exercise, join a hobby or volunteer group so you can feel more engaged and productive than brooding... There is a lot of discovery and joy out there!

Seeyounearertime Mon 26-Oct-15 10:48:46

Approaching 30.... I remember that..... sad

Tbh, best thing you can donis not worry, build a 'single' life and if or when someone comes along then they should add to your life, not detract from it.

Like building a tower, make your life a strong and stable base and then a partner should add to it, not make it lean or topple.

mellowyellow1 Mon 26-Oct-15 13:55:48

30 is the new 20! That's what I'm telling myself anyway wink

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