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vasectomy has worked and I'm gutted!

(9 Posts)
jellyjiggles Sat 24-Oct-15 10:37:14

I'm loosing the plot! Our family is complete. I don't want anymore children! We've had a tough time getting our dc and I'm starting to look towards rebuilding my career.

Dh went for a vasectomy. It was his decision but I kept telling him he didn't have to. He did it. I was sad afterwards but knew it was the sensible option. His results are through and he's sterile. I'm so sadsadsad.

He showed me the letter and I cried, buckets. I really feel so extremely upset but I really don't want anymore children.

Am I going mad?

Etak15 Sat 24-Oct-15 10:41:45

I suppose it just feels final for you now, maybe you have to go through a kind of bereavement process for those little swimmers!
He can always have it reverses though if he did ever change his mind! I know someone that did and successfully conceived.

Etak15 Sat 24-Oct-15 10:42:16


ArtyBat Sat 24-Oct-15 10:44:35

No you're not. Maybe you're grieving a little for the door that has just closed re you possibly having another child, even though you state categorically that you don't want any more children.

It's the certainty that you now won't have any more, and so life has changed forever in that respect.

Out hearts and minds are fickle things. flowers

RandomMess Sat 24-Oct-15 10:46:23

I was sterilised, definitely the right thing for me (and us) I was crying so much in pre-op I had to persuade the surgeon to go through with it.

I was just so sad because it is final, that chapter of life of being a Mum to young children had come to an end I was grieving.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sat 24-Oct-15 10:50:37

It's either sadness that it's final now or regret that you've done the wrong thing. If it's the latter, act fast, I believe reversals are more successful the earlier they are performed. The former will pass, eventually.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Sat 24-Oct-15 10:50:44

You arent going mad, it's just because it's so final. We naturally struggling when things a final even if we didnt want something anyway.

You'll feel a lot better about it in time.

ShowOfHands Sat 24-Oct-15 11:06:49

DH had a vasectomy two years ago and it was absolutely the right thing for us as a family. It was very hard hearing that DH was sterile but it wasn't because it was the wrong decision. It was just that door closing. It was a bit of grief for the fact that my children were growing up and I'd never be pregnant again or have a tiny baby. It also meant facing a new future and embracing the next stage and I was nervous and worried about my place in the new order of things.

It will pass. Promise. Make some plans, think about what you can do now and in the near future which is reliant upon you not having any more children and actively work towards it. You just have to fill that chasm with new goals, ideas and pleasures.

Don't rush it and don't feel that you've made the wrong decision. It's just a landmark time in your life. It's fine to wobble.

TheFuzz Mon 26-Oct-15 22:32:13

Reversals are expensive and he has taken a huge risk having the op having known you both didn't want kids.

Poor fella. I got PVPS from mine and we lost a sex life. I'm also impotent due to the damage the GP did. On hormone replacement that's not quite the same as normal production.

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