Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Is it too early to ask what the hell he wants?

(6 Posts)
Rankamateur Fri 23-Oct-15 23:01:04

I am at the end of my bloody tether after a - 1 hour - phone call tonight with a man I have been seeing.

I'll try to keep it short. We met through mutual friends in early August. During August and September we kept in regular touch by messaging (we live an hour apart) and meeting up for a couple of days out based around a mutual hobby. In early October, we ended up at the same event together which was an overnight so and we spent the night together.

Since then, we have spent 24 hrs together at his house and had a lovely afternoon together last weekend. During all this time, he has remained extremely attentive, texts every night including when he has been away from work. He seems very happy to see me and talk with me and some of his texts are lovely and affectionate.

The problem? Well, despite all this attention, I feel I have to do the running for us to actually meet up. Whether it's dropping very heavy hints or explicitly saying 'fancy doing something on Sunday'. He is always very enthusiastic and then makes a big effort when we meet up but I just wish he'd actually 'ask me out'.

I know he's not got a string of women on the go. He works very long hours and in some ways is quite geeky and introverted.

There is a practical element to this to. He doesn't have kids whereas I have a DD aged 17. While she has her own life, I like to be able to do stuff with her when she's free, or confirm when I can or can't give her lists etc.

I'm seeing him on Sunday (at my suggestion, but met with much enthusiasm). Should I just ask him what he's looking for here or is that going to seem a bit much?

I'm hopelessly out of practice if you haven't guessed already.

Seeyounearertime Fri 23-Oct-15 23:07:45

I'd ask him, but he may just be being overly polite?
I assume he knows you have a child etc and so maybe he'd rather you suggest when you're free?

But yeah, if I were him, I'd be fine you asking stuff after spending as much time together etc.

kateshair Fri 23-Oct-15 23:08:06

Yep ask him outright !
You are investing your time and energies in this man.. You want it too progress I take it ?
Grab the bull by the horns and ask him. You may be pleasantly surprised and if your not well you know and you can move on

Rankamateur Fri 23-Oct-15 23:13:56

Yes, he knows about my DD. I'm pleased you've both said ask him outright. Whilst it's only been 3 weeks since we got together, it felt like we built up to that in the 2 months before

I am honestly so frustrated with him tonight. He texts me with an hour of getting of his plan landing this a afternoon, chats away for an hour but then doesn't actually suggest doing something. I'm really quite narked about it all, mainly because I'm quite a straight talker

Seeyounearertime Fri 23-Oct-15 23:26:04

Tbh, I was a bit like your chap with my current GF. BUT only because every time I asked her out she couldn't because of kids etc. So i said,
"well you tell me when you're free then." grin
Not knowing your guybthough, maybe he's dated mums before? I guessing, as your DD is 17 that you're the better side of 30? the "grown up" side? So maybe he's learnt this behaviour previously? Just a thought.
He's maybe trying to be nice and letting you lead a little too much. I'd lay it all out on the table and see what he says.
Good luck to you.

Rankamateur Fri 23-Oct-15 23:36:01

Seeyou - yes, I'm late 40s but I like the description 'the better side of 30' so will stick with that!

Maybe you're right re has past dates, but I don't know. I'll definitely ask him outright on Sunday, if only for the sake of my own sanity and the fact doing all the asking is becoming a tad demoralising

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now