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Partner snores...badly!

(26 Posts)
sparklesnpearls Fri 23-Oct-15 17:07:57

Only been seeing him a few months and want to kill him already! ??

How do people cope? My ex slept quietly and said I'm an occasional snorer but my god he sounds like combine harvester!

Don't think the relationship gonna work is it? envy

RatherBeRiding Fri 23-Oct-15 17:56:10

Omg I so sympathise. Ex used to snore loudly and constantly. After years of broken sleep and ear-plugs I moved into the spare bedroom and stayed there. If you can't sleep through it (ear-plugs can help if you get really good ones) then, no, things don't look good. There is rarely a quick fix for snoring. I think you need to decide how worth keeping this relationship is. Can you cope with constantly broken sleep? Can you sleep separately and still maintain a loving relationship?

Be honest with yourself.

sparklesnpearls Fri 23-Oct-15 18:12:59

Thanks for your reply ridingsmile

Oh well looks like it's doomed I think, should be able to sleep together

RatherBeRiding Fri 23-Oct-15 18:29:24

There ARE things you can try that might help enough to share a bed. Ear-plugs kept out the worst of it initially but over the years my tolerance decreased and my need for sleep increased.

Would he be amenable to looking at some solutions? Is it worse if he sleep on his back? Does he suffer nasal congestion? Is he over-weight? All of these things can contribute.

My ex did find that those "Breathe Easy" nasal strips helped a bit but he was very overweight by that point and it was a drop in the ocean sad

Minime85 Fri 23-Oct-15 18:29:53

This thread reminded me of the schweepes advert. I nudge my dp as he snores when on his back so if he moves into side much better and it's got better the longer we've been together thinking about it. Much worse when he has ha d a drink

Joysmum Fri 23-Oct-15 18:43:46

We have a spare room and I've just had custom earplugs from Ultimate Ear. You'd need to have mounds made and then send them off to have the earplugs made.

sparklesnpearls Fri 23-Oct-15 18:50:13

He not overweight but it starts the second he drops off which is very quick I might add. He also moans he doesn't sleep well, prob wakes himself up!hmm

Wotsitsareafterme Fri 23-Oct-15 19:07:41

My dp snores like nothing I have ever experienced. I told him straight after the first sleepover that I couldn't cope with it. He has since bought a ring that surprisingly is quite effective and some anti snoring spray - works but wears off. Annoyingly I have made him quit smoking - which he's trying to but less smoking seams to equal more snoring!

MilkyChops Fri 23-Oct-15 19:13:10

It can be due to chronic sinus problems too. My OH sounds like a bus is coming through the house but MIL is the same too. If they're in the same house sleeping then the whole house vibrates.

I nudge my OH and he rolls over then it stops for a while until he rolls back over onto his back.

How much do you like the bloke? Has he got more redeeming features that outweigh the snoring?

pocketsaviour Fri 23-Oct-15 20:27:15

Does he ever appear to stop breathing for a period of time - anything from 10 seconds to a minute? This may be accompanied by choking noises and/or jerking motions.

babymouse Fri 23-Oct-15 20:31:16

I second pocketsaviour - it sounds like he may have sleep aponea (given he's not having restful sleep)

Friendlystories Fri 23-Oct-15 20:50:47

My DH snores like a train and also has catathrenia (sleep groaning) sad it's awful so I really sympathise. The only way I can get round it is to make sure I'm asleep before him, I sleep quite deeply and it rarely wakes me, just keeps me awake if it starts before I drop off. No real advise just wanted to let you know you're not alone flowers

peppersaunt Fri 23-Oct-15 20:55:23

Separate bedrooms prevented a murder in our house!

goddessofsmallthings Fri 23-Oct-15 21:05:28

Encourage him to make an appointment with his GP as it very much sounds (no pun intended smile ) as if he's suffering from obstructive sleep apnoea
www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Sleep-apnoea/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

Alterego1965 Fri 23-Oct-15 21:07:31

I found brilliant earplugs were the only way to sleep with a snorer. It is a real problem.

Irosstaketheerachel Fri 23-Oct-15 21:21:38

Sorry OP, I had the same problem with an ex and he had to go. I struggle to get a good night's sleep as it is and I couldn't handle a fucking express train right next to me. He did have sinus problems and had had surgery but it was a deal breaker. One night after I'd dug him in the ribs multiple times he stomped off and told me to 'stop whinging' hmm

He had a tiny, flaccid willy though so it wasn't any great loss.

Skiptonlass Fri 23-Oct-15 21:26:16

Get him to get his GP to refer him for a sleep study. This will show you what the issue is. Sleep apnoea can have long term health effects but it is treatable.

In the meantime, earplugs, and make him sleep on his side. If he has s small jaw then it might be worth getting a dental splint to pull the jaw forward and open the airway.

Dowser Fri 23-Oct-15 21:28:45

Do you hear anything through those earplugs joys mum.

Yika Fri 23-Oct-15 21:29:15

Had an ex with big snoring problems (I also couldn't sleep with him) - was sleep apnoea, he now uses a CPAP machine, and not only doesn't snore any more but also sleeps much better as a result.

Eminado Fri 23-Oct-15 21:31:45

"He had a tiny, flaccid willy though so it wasn't any great loss."

grin

purplewhale Fri 23-Oct-15 21:47:03

Snoring is the only thing I'd change about DH

If everything else about him and the relationship is good then buy some ear plugs.
My DH won't see a GP about it but there are things that can be done. I'm working on him

I really don't think that snoring is a reason to ditch someone - they don't do it on purpose! It could be quite easily fixed!

snicks1977 Fri 23-Oct-15 21:50:47

Mine used to snore so much I wanted to do some very bad things to him in the middle of the night! And not the thing he would want lmao

He had his tonsils removed and he now sleeps like a baby!

snicks1977 Fri 23-Oct-15 21:51:43

It's not good for them either, mine was a grumpy ratbag through lack of sleep! Tell him to see his GP

pocketsaviour Fri 23-Oct-15 22:55:18

Purple sleep apnoea is actually a really dangerous condition. My ex was finally diagnosed after I threatened to leave him if he didn't accompany me to the GP. He had to do a sleep study for one night which just meant wearing a small pulse monitor attached to his finger overnight. He was then fitted with a CPAP mask.

After he ran off with OW and a bunch of my cash, he stopped wearing the mask because "it makes me look old and fat". Too bad he had a heart attack 6 weeks later. Shits happen. grin

I really don't think that snoring is a reason to ditch someone - they don't do it on purpose!
Sure, as long as they seek treatment. If they just go "Oh well, sucks to be you" then they're twats.
If you involuntarily pissed the bed every night, would you expect your partner to just accept they were going to have to get up, change the bedding, and shower during every night? No, you would do something about it, whether it was surgery or an anti-uretic pill or just wearing continence pants to bed. You wouldn't just say "sorry babe but it's not my fault", would you?

snicks1977 Fri 23-Oct-15 23:56:31

Oh pocket, that's awful, I feel for you - but I laughed a bit at your next comment ;) what a git I'd like to run into him with a pair of rusty scissors

Agree I talked to my DP about his snoring that's what made him realise it might make him tired and he wanted to do this for him and me And likewise if I was pissing the bed

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