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Struggling after arguement

(2 Posts)
clashofclanswidow Thu 22-Oct-15 10:02:58

I have recently had an arguement with my partner and I just don't know how to feel at the moment.

A few weekends lately he has been out until the early hours of the morning (3-4am) and it has been getting on my nerves. Especially as we are 9 weeks pregnant with our second child.

This weekend however our oldest child was with her Nanny, at Nanny's request. So I thought it would've been nice for us to spend time together.

Given I can't drink I said I wouldn't mind going to the cinema or out for a meal or something if he didn't want to stay in. He seemed to avoid the subject reminding me that he was going out at 12pm to watch football and we'd decide later.

Well it got later and later and a series of phone calls delaying him coming home when at 11pm he rings (fairly drunk) saying he is going to a neighbours for some beers and can his friends stop at ours!

I lost my rag and sent him a message saying I was annoyed he had wasted a rare child free evening and if he'd rather have the company of friends then he can stay at theirs instead!

I went to bed in a bad mood only for him to come crashing through the door at 4AM banging about. I was so upset and annoyed! He is closer to 30 years old and was acting like a teenager!

The next day he was very sheepish and judging by the nightclub stamp on the back of his hand I knew where he had been until 4AM.

He explained it was just him and his friend (who also has a partner) that went there and I'm just livid because I can hardly see that two blokes went to a nightclub to stand in the corner and chat over a few pints, it's not like this place has seating areas!!!

I know I have no proof but the fact I was mad at him and he ended up at such a place makes me think he was there eyeing up all the other women and probably dancing and flirting etc.

I just can't find a logical, sensible reason for him being there otherwise! Appreciate this makes me sound really insecure.

So since this has happened I just can't stop making digs at him over where he was and what he was probably doing.

I can't be close to him - we haven't so much as touched since. We slept in seperate beds for three nights and now we're back in the same bed and he asked last night if we could cuddle and I said no. He also askes if he could kiss me this morning before he went to work and I just couldn't.

I don't have any proof of what happened at the weekend and when I ask him why he was even at the nightclub all he can say for himself is "he doesn't really know but he just knows he shouldn't have been there"

Not sure what to think or do anymore as we're having our second baby together and supposed to be happy but I'm just really mad and disgusted with his behaviour right now! =(

I have no idea whether I'm over-reacting with no proof etc. What are peoples opinions please as I don't even know how to move forward from here when I'm still annoyed at the situation!

babyblues19 Thu 22-Oct-15 10:28:27

I'm really sorry your going through this, the emotional rollercoaster called pregnancy certainly doesn't help! However, I don't think your overreacting. I can't say I know much as I'm single and pregnant, don't have kids yet but I can imagine its a rare occasion that you guys get to spend time alone and with another child on the way, its perfectly reasonable to want to spend more time together before the next baby comes!! He obviously doesn't understand where your coming from and how lonely pregnancy can be. Why should you be worrying all night about his whereabouts while he is out having fun with his friends!! It would be better to try and sort this out now tho as you don't need the stress of fighting! If I were you, I'd sit him down and explain exactly how it made you feel and how important it is for your relationship to spend quality time together and for him to be an emotional support for you throughout your pregnancy! Hopefully that conversation might make him see sense and you both can move forward!

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