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Seperating or have i softened?

(8 Posts)
needhelpandadvice Wed 21-Oct-15 16:08:41

I have an old thread running, H fell out with me 4th Oct, at the time I didn't know why as his form is silent treatment then when he feels like it dramatics of what is wrong!

So a few days later he announces its because,

Im distant
Im unloving (basically)
I enjoy socialising with friends or work colleagues instead of being with him.
Se isn't that great, and its only every 2nd day.

These are my words but the points he was making.

He says he cant take it anymore and it is causing mental stress and he has no option but to leave.

My points to him were, he is smoking way to much cannabis and overthinking ever minor detail.

He hacked me of so much I agreed we should separate as I visioned a life with the man child huffing and moods.

Hes still here and now im softening, is he right ? What will life be like without him?

Jan45 Wed 21-Oct-15 17:04:58

Well you would be living without a stoner, that would be nice.

He sounds awful, silent moods, sex not that great.

I think I'd have got harder rather than softer and give him the option of taking himself and his drug habit and self indulgence somewhere else.

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 21-Oct-15 17:09:43

What do you get out of this relationship now?. Ask yourself that question.

I think your life without him in it day to day will be a hell of a lot nicer.

Do not let him do this to you any more; get him out of your day to day life.

mineofuselessinformation Wed 21-Oct-15 17:14:31

What's he done since to make you think life will be any different in the future?

needhelpandadvice Wed 21-Oct-15 17:31:09

I ask myself what i get from the relationship and I think it was just the fact I knew he was there if that makes sense.

There is some kind of love there, but how he turns things on me as really made me see a new side to him.

Claims I make him feel low hence he use Hash and he ill not stop as he needs it?

I don think that I make him feel like that but it does make me wonder that maybe there is something not right with me??

needhelpandadvice Wed 21-Oct-15 22:02:38

In tears..again! Had another one of his conversations, where it seems I am the one who is completely in the wrong and terrible.

I feel like a right shit bag! How has my marriage come to this? He was never so cold and hurt full but because he isn't hearing me begging him he has turned horrible.

I cant beg him to stay as I am worn down with moods and silences and at the same time trying to be completely normal for our DC.

I really hope im not cutting my nose of to spite my face by not trying harder.

iloverunning36 Wed 21-Oct-15 22:37:10

Oh no, sorry you are so upset. He sounds like the shitbag to be honest. flowers

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 21-Oct-15 22:41:17

Its not you, its him. He is being awful to you (and by turn your children as well). If anyone should be trying harder here it is him.

You can help yourself here by no longer having him in your day to day life.

He is addicted to cannabis; you did not cause that to happen to him.

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