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Feeling wobbly -when does it start to get easier?!?!

(7 Posts)
wobblywingbatgirl Wed 21-Oct-15 13:51:47

In a nutshell - DH left me and our DD (6) 12 weeks ago for another woman he'd been having a non-physical affair with. Left us on the Monday and moved in with her and her 2 children that day (we have been together for 22 years). Although or marriage hadn't been happy for some time, I was in denial and would have carried on. Myself and DD are doing OK - trying to be amicable with him to keep the peace, but on the inside I'm so furious for too many reasons to even begin to list. His family are p*ssing me off as they seem to be just accepting what he's done as the norm - or if they are shocked and disgusted with his way, they're not sharing it with me or him. Unfortunately I don't live near my family as we moved away with his job.

Anyway, I'm struggling with this new life of his. I really am. I honestly thought that it would have been horrendous now that the excitement might be wearing off - I mean, who the hell moves into a ready made family just like that?!?!?!?! But they seem to be really happy and its making me sick to be honest!!!! Jealousy - what a destructive emotion but I just don't know how to move on from it....

wobblywingbatgirl Wed 21-Oct-15 14:01:57

meant to add that the reason I'm wobbling is because he's changed his address for his post. Just shows me that they're in it for the long term and its just hit home a bit x

ILiveAtTheBeach Wed 21-Oct-15 14:02:57

Well, I know you won't be ready to date yet, but it really is true that the way to get over a man, is to get under another one. When the timing is right, I would think about dating again. I don't know how long it will be till you're ready, I was ready quite quickly and met 2nd DH doing OLD. I wouldn't go back to 1st H for anything and I'm glad he cheated on me, as I found 2nd DH because of it.

I highly doubt that this new relationship will work. The OW will see him in a clearer light, now that she's washing his undies and smelling his farts! You don't see what goes on behind closed doors, I suspect it won't be as rosy as you think.

When your ExH has your DD, spoil yourself, have a spa day, get a haircut. Be kind to yourself.

It will get better, I promise. One day, you will find a lovely man and you will be thankful this happened. flowers xx

rockabillyruby82 Wed 21-Oct-15 14:25:49

My (D)H left 3 weeks ago, had been having an affair since June whilst I was carrying DC2.
Yesterday I felt normal again for the first time since. I'm still hurt and angry over his actions and complete disrespect for me but up until yesterday those emotions were taking over my life and mind. It's taken me 3 weeks to calm my emotions, think rationally and look to the future.
It'll be different for you but you'll get there. Unfortunately it's a part of the grieving process and can't be stopped or put off.
flowers for you OP xx

wobblywingbatgirl Wed 21-Oct-15 21:13:52

Thanks for the replies - rockabilly you sound very brave in your position and only three weeks on - where are you drawing your strength from!? Has he gone to the OW? The jealousy I feel is just awful - I didn't realise how bad it would feel. Iliveatthebeach - yeah,my guess I do hope that it all goes tits up if I'm honest - I know thT sounds bad but I just don't understand how people (men) can move on so quickly and how the OW thinks it's acceptable - and her poor children!?!?!?

rockabillyruby82 Thu 22-Oct-15 17:22:33

I don't know, it wasn't a healthy or happy marriage for a long time. I haven't had any jealousy, the whore is welcome to him!! I've got some fantastic friends.
The emotion I've had the most is anger. I'm so angry with him for being a coward, having no respect for me, treating me like a doormat and placing the blame on me for 'changing' I suppose that's where my strength has come from.
I'm counting myself lucky that I'm rid of the piece of shit lol!

Sansoora Thu 22-Oct-15 17:29:48

His family are p*ssing me off as they seem to be just accepting what he's done as the norm - or if they are shocked and disgusted with his way, they're not sharing it with me or him.

That can be a right sickener. I know. I knew who had my back and who had told my husband what they thought of him but I was mistaken in thinking that just because people hadn't told me what was on their mind that they were ok with it all. In fact just yesterday I found out, 2.5 years after my separation that my husband comes to our home town and no one will see him apart from an old drinking buddy. Not even his extended family, who Im not in regular touch with, will entertain him. So, just because you don't know what is being said doesn't mean nothing is being said or done.

xx

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