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Is this a snub?

(8 Posts)
indigopeach Tue 20-Oct-15 22:46:53

I'm not sure how to take this.

A friend who I was very close to (and would hope still am) moved away a couple of years ago.

I have invited her over, said she is welcome to visit/stay anytime. She has visited, but also has often flaked out at the last minute. The couple of times I arranged to visit her plans came up.

I texted her a week ago to ask if she would like to come over while we still had a spare room. No reply, then a message saying she is visiting my town and has plans. She won't be seeing me. Fine, but why tell me about a trip, and tell me you have other plans?

Potentially relevant background: she was my bridesmaid, but then with her wedding didn't invite even invite dd, knowing I had no childcare options (it wasn't a child free wedding). I tried to be as frank as possible about the situation, and maintain out friendship, but it also felt like a snub.

TokenGinger Tue 20-Oct-15 22:58:59

Maybe she doesn't want to stay in a house where there's a child? I know I am not a big fan of it - it feels like a chore as opposed to a break.

And she's let you know she's in town but has plans in case you get wind of it and say "I can't believe she was in town and didn't let me know".

springydaffs Tue 20-Oct-15 23:12:23

Erm yes, it sounds like a snub!

I'd drop her like a stone iiwy. See what happens.

Of course she has every right to treat you like shit. Apparently hmm

honeyroar Tue 20-Oct-15 23:12:42

I don't think it was a snub, but you know her best. She's being honest, so you don't hear some other way that she's in town. I rarely stay at my friend's one she had kids. Re the wedding, strange. Is your child particularly energetic or loud?

timelytess Tue 20-Oct-15 23:26:26

You ask her round, she doesn't come. She doesn't want to spend time with you. That's probably unreasonable of her but it seems to be the case. Move on.

Joysmum Tue 20-Oct-15 23:26:37

There's a big difference between not wanting to stay and not even wanting to meet up. Yes it's a snub.

Effendi Wed 21-Oct-15 06:23:56

When I visit my home country I sometimes don't even tell people I'm coming. It feels like everyone wants a piece of me and wants me to visit them or stay over or go out. I end up with so many plans and visits that it's exhausting. I've just travelled 1000s of miles on a plane but they can't drive 10 miles to visit me at my Mums?

I'm not snubbing anyone or being mean, my holiday time with my family who I only see once or twice a year is precious.

It does sound like she didn't deal with the wedding very well at all though.

indigopeach Wed 21-Oct-15 14:28:23

Interesting replies, thank you. I didn't think that this may be about dd.

She did become incredibly 'bridezilla' re the wedding. I put her behaviour down to that.

Dd is very energetic, but she has hardly seen her so I don't know how she would even know that.

I really don't understand the meaning behind this, which is why I am asking.

I don't think she is trying to cut me out, as she does constantly phone me. We speak on the phone at least once a week.

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