hi, so ok i'll start by apologising for the long post.
ive been married 7 years. my husband and i struggled to conceive and had 7 miscarriages. last year we had a little girl but she died shortly after she was born. My husband had had a drug and alcohol problem for as long as ive known him. He doesnt drink every day but maybe two to three times a week but hits it hard. We also live next to his parents who are very religious and imposing and also despise me. Anyway after our little girl dies I suffered major depression. It didnt effect our relationship physically but his refusal to stop drinking and two further miscarriages made me resentful towards him. I started seeing my friends more and got a job instead of focusing on him as i realised we may never have kids. So he went on a boys holiday to ibiza, he came back with herpes. i was devestated, the next day after i had founf out (he admitted a one night stand) he had to leave to miami on business. I logged into his emails and found he was going first classs with some girl from his work and sharing a room, ten grand it cost him when he wouldnt pay for ivf. i was so angry i smashed a mirror and out oven. his parents came around and called the police and tried to have me evicted from the house. now he refuses to speak with me. i dont know what to do. im back at my mothers who makes me tidy my room before i leave ( i was late for a meeting, seriously) i feel like my life is over. so much hurt in such a small space of time. i do still love him and i miss him, i just feel sad that he could do this to me. i dont even know what im looking to hear. i guess just a bit of comfort
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husband had affair
spicybeans · 20/10/2015 17:01
You have had a terrible time 
and you need to make yourself a better life. This won't be with your mum or your husband.
If he has enough money to pay for women to go abroad with him, then there must be enough money for a downpayment on a flat somewhere. I would cut all ties with this man and I'd move out of your mum's house asap, too.
I didn't want to read and run. It sounds like you've had an awful time. I agree, I think you should get this man out of your life, he isn't considering your feelings/emotions at all given everything you've been through. I understand it will be difficult as I was in an awful relationship for 3 years with someone who cheated numerous times. Eventually I saw the light and called the relationship off. It was difficult at first but now I know I made the right decision. Is there anyone you can talk to about your situation? 
Op I have no advice really, just wanted to say I'm so so sorry for your losses. What a terrible time you've been through.
He sounds just awful imo. He should be supporting you. Do you have anyone in rl you can reach out to?
I know how hard it is to leave someone you love, but your husband sounds incredibly insensitive. It doesn't sound like he cares about how you might be feeling or coping after your losses. I hope you find the courage to make the decision that you feel is best for you.
It takes a lot to make me cry but your op made me cry. I'm so sorry you are going through such terrible losses
Girl, it'll take a while to get over these losses but you will get there in the end. Unfortunately there's nothing for it but to go through it - if only we could side-step it but we can't. You will make it, you are made of strong stuff.
Yes, if he is wealthy your settlement will be handsome. It takes a while to get to the settlement but you will in the end. The fact that his vile parents changed the deeds on the house will be duly noted by the courts. It sounds to me you will re nice to get rid of these foul people.
Your mother sounds disordered and my guess is you didn't have a great childhood? Do move out if you can, you don't need her shit on top of everything do you - you've enough to be getting on with without that.
You may love him but from what you've said he doesn't sound worthy of your love. He doesn't sound a nice person at all at all. I'm so sorry he has put you through this beans
Be kind to yourself eh xx
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