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Do you cut off people who are unkind and spiteful towards you?

(38 Posts)
TotallyAnnoyingFamily Fri 16-Oct-15 19:20:09

I have just cut off two so-called friends who actually weren't being very nice about me behind my back, and there were a lot of spiteful undertones.

I hung in there, and hung in there, and actually probably made myself look an idiot by putting up with their behaviour.

I have now cut them both off, and actually wish I'd done it ages ago. They are both mums from the school that my DC attend but I have just started saying a polite hello and having nothing more to do with them.

I feel like I have done the right thing but then I often see posts on here saying it's childish to just cut people off but I feel it was the only thing to do to keep my pride, if that makes sense.

Sighing Fri 16-Oct-15 19:46:43

They're not (parents through school) people who you really owe a discussion about what happened etc (though your post makes it unclear). So withdraw at will.

CocktailQueen Fri 16-Oct-15 19:48:41

Not childish at all. Your friendship wasn't working, they weren't behaving like friends - the dignified thing is to say hello but keep your distance. I would do - and have done - the same.

AnyFucker Fri 16-Oct-15 19:49:47

I most certainly do

Why would you not ? confused

BrandNewAndImproved Fri 16-Oct-15 19:52:02

Yes this year I cut off a very good friend who wasn't really my friend.

I still miss the social aspect we had and all the things we used to do together but fuck that it's not worth holding onto when its fake.

Doilooklikeatourist Fri 16-Oct-15 19:55:54

Yes , I've cut out my spiteful , selfish and unkind sister ( and her even more unpleasant husband )
The weight has lifted from my shoulders
Onward and upward

Olddear Fri 16-Oct-15 19:56:12

Definitely. Who needs people like that in your life? I would get shot of them in a heartbeat.

MerdeAlor Fri 16-Oct-15 19:57:07

Childish to cut people off? I'm intrigued by that.

I choose friends wisely but have cut off all my immediate family because of their abusive behaviour with no regrets.

Yes, keep your pride and your dignity, don't stand for being treated badly.
OP don't give them a second thought.

goldglittershitter Fri 16-Oct-15 20:01:26

Yes - life is too short to deal with childish nonsense. They sound horrible, u did right, OP.

justwondering72 Fri 16-Oct-15 20:04:41

Why would you keep people in your life that are unkind to you? You don't have to make a grand gesture to cut them out, you can just return their calls a little less quickly, not jump whenever they suggest a meet up or ask you for a favour. I've never been one for drama or confrontation, but I've certainly distanced myself from people who treated me like crap once too often.

regretsihaveafew Fri 16-Oct-15 20:20:11

Yes I do. I have walked away from more than one person recently as I'm sick to death with people thinking they can do and say anything hurtful they like to me and pick me up, then put me down.

I have a lot of patience and time for people but it's been abused...so no more of it.

I feel free, I feel liberated, I feel at peace, in control of my life, have my dignity, feel peaceful and am not tying myself up in knots to help and/or meet up with those who show me no respect.

Don't waste your precious time on people who make you feel bad OP.

CherryPicking Fri 16-Oct-15 20:56:01

Just curious - would you class mutual friends organising and attending multiple birthday parties and neglecting to invite you spiteful behaviour? Because I've cut out about three friends this year for this. Just wanted to check I wasn't BU

CainInThePunting Fri 16-Oct-15 21:06:33

Well I did, my brother was being unkind and spiteful and I didn't need to ask Mumsnet. Now I'm wondering if I should just apologise (even though I'm not in the wrong) just to make life easier at the moment.
But I always apologise just to keep the peace, this time I don't feel like it.

If I apologise now it's just going to be the same again next time.

loveyoutothemoon Fri 16-Oct-15 21:09:40

No never apologise if you've not done anything wrong. That would be rather silly if he's been unkind and spiteful.

SoleBizzzz Fri 16-Oct-15 21:18:32

Some people wrongly feel it is holding a grudge to cut people out of your life. Usually the doormat types with few boundaries and self respect.

frigginell Fri 16-Oct-15 21:30:37

Yes I do. And in relation to criticism about cutting abusive people off, remember: it furthers the interests of abusive gits to discourage people who espouse cutting out abusive gits. There is a chunk of the population who would be fucked if everybody they treated like crap suddenly told them to fuck off.

BakeOffBabe Fri 16-Oct-15 21:39:04

Yes, quite a few times. 'Friends' should support you and be on your side. Why would you accept any less?

I don't do confrontation though and gradually step away until the relationship fades out.

LovesPeace Fri 16-Oct-15 21:40:27

Absolutely.

I value myself (helped by the fact I'm a loner anyway).

Jux Fri 16-Oct-15 21:56:49

Yes, depending upon circumstances. If they're a long-term friend, then it would be last resort.

SkandiStyle Fri 16-Oct-15 21:57:53

I don't waste my time on people who are petty, spiteful, flakey etc. I don't like people with hidden agendas or like to play mind games.

I don't confront them, I just nod, smile and detatch and keep them very much at arms length.

Life is too short to have negative people in it.

Muckogy Fri 16-Oct-15 22:16:56

i did it.
to a friend who was VERY spiteful and bitter.

and i'm glad i did. no regrets here.

gamerchick Fri 16-Oct-15 22:20:52

Bloody right I do.

Life is far too short to put up with knobs. It gets easier to do once you've started.

goddessofsmallthings Fri 16-Oct-15 22:50:38

I will always cut off anyone who is unkind/spiteful to me, or to others for that matter, and I have no compunction about telling them why I regard them as persona non grata.

expatinscotland Fri 16-Oct-15 22:52:28

Yes, I do.

Verypissedoffwife Fri 16-Oct-15 22:55:32

Yes and until I saw this thread it wouldn't have even occurred to me that this wouldn't be the "done thing". No I wouldn't give an explanation either. Why would you? They've not even asked you directly have they?

Nah fuck 'em. Life's too short and I'm sure you don't have time for such petty crap.

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