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Finding a decent man as a 30yo single mum

(19 Posts)
OiledBegg Fri 16-Oct-15 17:44:45

Okay so I'm actually 29 but 30 is looming next year... And I have a ds who is nearly 11.

Am I ever gonna find a nice, normal, attractive and hard working male who wants a committed relationship, is happy to take on a pre-teen and hopefully have more dc one day?

Everyone I meet seems to want a fling or "nothing serious" or isn't my cup of tea, or already taken...

wonderingsoul Fri 16-Oct-15 17:54:44

Yep. I met my oh at 29... now 30.

I have 2 dc 6 and 9 and we've been together 9 months...

I know it's early days still but it's been such a different relationship then iv ever experienced and I'm 90 percent sure he's the one...

Im glad iv gone through my bad times and bad relationships, and met him at all most 30.. iv got experience but still young enough to have more children.

I used pof.. which seems to have a lot weirdos but I found my sane, relationship wanting hard worker fun man on there.

OiledBegg Fri 16-Oct-15 18:12:29

I've tried tinder but haven't been on pof for a while. May have to give it a go!

Cruditesfortwo Fri 16-Oct-15 20:55:25

I'm 29 and divorced, have 2 DC age 4 and 2. Been with the most amazing man for the past year, I genuinely didn't think it possible to be this happy. So yes you absolutely can find someone!

BeanIontach Fri 16-Oct-15 20:58:34

oh at your age you'll have loads of replies. My profile is quite wholesome girl next door which scares off perves. I haven't had a single dickpic

donajimena Fri 16-Oct-15 21:17:27

I'm 43. Two children( one pre-teen) I've met a lovely man on okc. Its still early days (7 months ) but I am having the most exciting yet normal relationship of my life.
I think I could have achieved this sooner if I had better self esteem and boundaries earlier on in life.

LittleFeileFooFoo Fri 16-Oct-15 21:20:46

Yes, I didn't meet my dh until I was 38! He's actually the one with the child, but we now have another together.

You should see the shit heads I had to get through to be smart enough to see a good bloke when he sat in front of me!

DarthVadersTailor Fri 16-Oct-15 22:16:19

You surely can OP. Your description is near enough exactly who my other half was before I met her! Her secret was making me pancakes after a nightshift at work wink

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Sat 17-Oct-15 08:25:57

I'm sure you can at 29/30. It's when you get to 40 and find that the single men are single for a reason that the problems start!

spidergurl Sat 17-Oct-15 08:37:22

My mum met my dad when she was 34, she already had me and my sis and they went on to have my bro. Don't give up hope.

elliepac Sat 17-Oct-15 12:44:10

Absolutely possible. I am 38.
2 dc's 12 and 7. Came out of long and unhappy marriage which i stayed in due to shockingly low self esteem...fully expecting to find myself a lonely old woman with cats. I met dp on okc 8 months ago and whilst obviousl still relatively early days...I feel I have finally found the right man for me and am happier than I have ever been. He is everything I have ever wanted. They are out there.

happyandsingle Sat 17-Oct-15 13:49:30

30 is still young. And men seem to prefer to take on women with me older kids than young. As folk girl said it's much harder late 30s early 40s as most men seem to be harder work at that age.

MaisieDotes Sat 17-Oct-15 13:55:08

I got together with DH 5 years ago when I was 34 and DD was 9.

We now have DS who is 14mo and another baby due in Jan.

I did have other, less desirable, relationships beforehand though. In hindsight I would say hold out for the right man, don't settle just because you're a single parent and you think a particular guy is as good as it gets.

shoestoavoid Sat 17-Oct-15 16:42:49

I met DH when I was 28 and a single mum of a pre-teen. We've been married for five years and are very happy! I agree with Maisie, don't settle, and don't think you need to lower your standards in exchange for a man 'taking you on'. I dated other men on and off before I met DH, some I just enjoyed as flings but some were OK relationships and reasonable men but just not quite right for me for the long term. I'm glad I didn't settle with them and waited out for DH.

OiledBegg Mon 19-Oct-15 09:22:46

Loving the positive replies, maybe there is hope for me yet!!

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Mon 19-Oct-15 12:31:08

I was a single mum to 4 when I met my now DH at the ripe old age of 35. Don't settle for nearly or not quite, but do get out and enjoy life. I joined a single parents holiday group thing and went camping and made friends for life.

JoH1978 Mon 19-Oct-15 14:34:48

My SIL met my BIL when she was 32, he was 35. She was a single mum of one gorgeous girl, who was 2. They are happily married and have a boy together now too. My BIL is extremely well educated, hard working, lovely, trustworthy - the whole lot. They met online. There are decent men out there!!

I'm not too hot on dating sites, but isn't Tinder more for people who want to have fun, rather than anything serious? Maybe try eHarmony or Match.com?

Best of luck x

PersonalClown Mon 19-Oct-15 14:39:02

I 'met' DP online (FB) at 28, chatted for about a year and met in person at 29. I was a single mum with a 6 year old boy with Autism.

7 years later, he's still here pissing me off! wink

WhoIsJohnGalt Mon 19-Oct-15 18:00:48

Hi OiledBegg, I am 30 (31 b soon) with 3 kids under 6, and a single mum! Ive just plucked up the courage to start online dating. I think you will be fine. smile) I don't feel down about it at all!!!

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