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If a parent who has cheated demands 50% custody, would they get if by default?

(12 Posts)
JenniferYellowHat1980 Mon 12-Oct-15 18:47:51

I'm ignorant of all things custody based as my own parents settled access amicably. I'm asking as I'm trying to support a friend who is being horrendously bullied by her exH.

He cheated and got the OW pregnant. He is very wealthy on paper and has gone through the motions of reconciliation to try to stop her claiming what she's entitled to. That hasn't worked and now he's indirectly using their DCs to punish and threaten her. He's an absolute cock.

What's the worst that could happen though? Would a court be likely to give him 50% custody by deafault?

MissFitt68 Mon 12-Oct-15 19:41:31

Residency. Not custody

Courts the to start at 50/50 and work from there

Any reason why the DC couldn't have this?

RealityCheque Mon 12-Oct-15 19:45:00

The cheating is irrelevant (and rightly so) when it comes to children's arrangements. Are the kids old enough to have an opinion on this? The courts will be interested in that.

Trills Mon 12-Oct-15 19:47:21

Having cheated on your spouse is not relevant to your ability or desire to look after your children.

Spartans Mon 12-Oct-15 19:47:41

Cheating would not change impact the arrangement. I am not sure why you think it would. He may be a cock, but cheating wouldn't result in him having his kids less.

Suddenlyseymour Mon 12-Oct-15 19:50:17

Unless there are any safeguarding issues, the courts aren't interested in who did what or who was unfaithful, they don't penalise one party via reducing residency for having had an affair. Are there any issues around his parenting?

VimFuego101 Mon 12-Oct-15 19:51:29

His cheating is not considered a reason to stop him being the custodial parent, in the eyes of the court. What will have a big impact is how involved in his kids lives he was and how much of their care he did himself. Was your friend the main carer?

cece Mon 12-Oct-15 19:53:33

I have heard this threat several times from husbands during the divorce process. In reality they tend to just have the DC one or two nights per week (if that).

Marilynsbigsister Mon 12-Oct-15 22:52:11

It really depends on the work situation. Some parents manage 50/50. The norm however is the full time worker outside the home, (normally dad) will settle for every other weekend (eow) and tea one evening a week. This gives dad plenty of time to establish his new relationship (such a cynic) without impacting to harshly on shagging ow...sad but true. No fault divorce is where it's at. You can say vows and Make promises but in the eyes of the law it is all meaningless and who did what to whom has absolutely no bearing on child contact . The only thing that makes a difference is whether or not he can be a good, safe reliable parent with dcs.

scallopsrgreat Mon 12-Oct-15 23:43:32

Courts don't tend to start from 50/50, they tend to maintain the status quo. So whoever is primary carer before they split, would in all likelihood continue that role.

She needs to get legal advice though. Pronto.

Fistyisyourname Tue 13-Oct-15 06:20:59

Who is the primary care of the DC's?
How old are they (roughly?)

Courts will firstly look at needs of DC's. The affair is irrelevant to arrangements regarding the children.

My STBXH started with threats of 50% / 50%. Didn't bother me In the slightest, as a parent so he should have that much input. Reality? He can't do school drop off/ picks ups. Sees them one night a week and one night on a weekend. Due to change to EOW. The kicker? Children aren't conducive to his new lifestyle now that he has the freedom to fuck about with whomsoever he chooses.

I'd tell your friend to not react, he says 50/ 50. She agrees happily. He has every right to ask for this. Then watch and wait. If he gets it then arguably that is great for the DC's. I personally don't think he'll go for it.......

Nottodaythankyouorever Tue 13-Oct-15 06:44:32

What's the worst that could happen though? Would a court be likely to give him 50% custody by deafault?

It depends on many things but yes he could get 50:50.

I know of 2 cases (1 family and 1 friend) that have been through court recently and both have resulted in 50:50 contact.

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