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Over diagnosis of narcissism and psychopaths?

(7 Posts)
Onesteptoofar Sun 11-Oct-15 22:55:28

I've been involved in a sexual relationship with a man for the past year or so, on Friday my therapist (after many many months of telling me to run quickly in another direction) told me that she thought he either had NPD or another antisocial personality disorder, the word psychopath was thrown around. She's been very unwilling to 'diagnose' him without seeing him but said she felt I wasn't taking her seriously and had very real concerns regarding my long term welfare.

He has caused me some concern but he has never harmed me, never been outright abusive to me, aside from a couple of barbed, passive aggressive comments said in humour! However there is something very off with him. She is basing her judgement on our relationship, things I've mentioned and his past behaviours that I've told her about. She believes the vibe I'm getting is pre-mask slip.

I'm not emotionally attached to this man at all, mainly because there is something very strange about him, but I enjoy his company and the very kinky sex.

My question is has NPD become a current buzz word in the psychology word? I'm in London and she's a specialist in her field but I'm wondering if she might be exaggerating her concerns. Has anyone any experience of NPD pre mask slip?

TheWildRumpyPumpus Sun 11-Oct-15 23:16:10

None of my therapists have ever told me to do anything - seems quite unusual in a counselling relationship. Yours must have very real concerns if they have been directing/advising you for months to leave this relationship.

angryangryyoungwoman Sun 11-Oct-15 23:23:22

What are her concerns based on exactly?

TheSwallowingHandmaiden Sun 11-Oct-15 23:25:24

Are you quite mad?

RachelZoe Mon 12-Oct-15 11:32:20

Your therapist is being extremely unprofessional and you should report her to be honest.

You just categorically cannot diagnose these things by distance, they aren't much diagnosed anyway, Psychopathy, NPD and APD are very complex and fairly rare in reality. Only on mumsnet does every other person and their dog have NPD and similar. I'm going to guess she is a therapist/counselor and has no actual diagnostic powers or qualifications anyway. The ones who bandy these things about most often are.

Report, do not see again.

RiceCrispieTreats Mon 12-Oct-15 11:43:28

Why does the label matter? You think there is something very off with him. Whether that thing has a name or not, is this something you welcome into your life?

IMO you should focus less on your therapist's position vis-a-vis your lover, and focus on your own. Is he a healthy and welcome addition to your life?

CheersMedea Mon 12-Oct-15 17:16:47

Of course she can't diagnose someone without seeing them or taking a history. No one can. But she's obviously concerned. What exactly did you tell her that he'd done to make her concerned?

NPD and sociopaths are different things. All sociopaths are narcissists but not all narcissists are sociopaths. NPD = risk is you will end up emotionally destroyed and a broken shell of your self with a ruined reputation and no money. Sociopath= risk is you end up with all of the above plus in a shallow grave.

Forget about the counsellor, WHY oh why do you want to keep dating someone you describe as "there is something very off with him"?


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