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Does anyone else feel like Dr Foster?

(17 Posts)
brokenhearted55a Fri 09-Oct-15 09:35:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

magiccatlitter Fri 09-Oct-15 10:30:02

I think I'm a bit in that situation. I've stuck around in crappy situations far too long and also putting myself last. I've gotten myself into a situation where I have no real life friends. Being severely depressed tends to run people off. In my family, I'm the one expected to support and take care of everyone else s problems. I'm so tired of always being the strong one.

No more. I don't want to have any regrets.

brokenhearted55a Fri 09-Oct-15 11:48:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Offred Fri 09-Oct-15 13:12:26

Doctor foster made uncomfortable viewing for me because of Tom tbh. The way he was used and abandoned by both of his crazy parents in their crazy relationship made me extremely upset.

The final episode where Simon started manipulating her work friends and the school to make out she was a bad mother, Gemma drove Tom into the field and Gemma goaded Simon into losing it completely was utterly horrifying.

The overall message seemed to be the relationship was one of high drama with a fittingly high drama ending which they were both happy with and both of them looking at Tom as though he was a specimen in a jar. Awful parenting.

Offred Fri 09-Oct-15 13:13:38

I think it's a good reminder not to be so obsessed over a relationship that you destroy your DC tbh.

Both of their behaviour was completely insane.

Spartans Fri 09-Oct-15 13:21:29

offred couldn't agree more. By the end I had little sympathy for with of them.

Op she stayed because it was her home and her sons home. Because she wouldn't be driven out of her house. The ending implied to me that all the relationships were healing.

She wasn't a great friend I these people either. She got Roz to break confidentiality to tell the husband about his gfs baby. , slept with her neighbours husband etc. all the relationships were complicated and dysfunctionala and she was as much a part of that as everyone else. The relationships were all fairly superficial, even on her part of it.

Do you feel like that?

Offred Fri 09-Oct-15 13:30:52

Yes she wanted her house, her money and her son. She wanted to humiliate him and force him out of the village he had been born in so that there was no doubt that she had won.

She got what she wanted.

I have some sympathy with the desperation of having been cheated in the way she was but she had no concern for her son at all. It all became a game which she was obsessed with winning.

No sympathy for that.

Offred Fri 09-Oct-15 13:31:55

Jack was the only human being with a real relationship and she was awful to him.

Offred Fri 09-Oct-15 13:35:37

And having an affair and doing dodgy business deals is one thing but the whole dinner, screwing him financially, followed by terrifying her son, making him think she had killed him etc was just awful. By the end my sympathy was more with him and I felt uncomfortable about the portrayal of domestic violence which implied women are cruel and manipulative and push men into it. Men being hapless idiots who can't control their cocks but women literally being deranged...

Spartans Fri 09-Oct-15 13:51:16

tbh I didn't think it portrayed anyone in a good light. Men or women. Single or married.

They all had dodgy moral compasses and living lies.

I suppose the OP may feel that, that is what her life is like.

Offred Fri 09-Oct-15 13:54:23

I had a soft spot for jack. He seemed like the only human in a landscape of robots and suffering emotionally as a consequence.

brokenhearted55a Fri 09-Oct-15 14:01:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OurBlanche Fri 09-Oct-15 14:03:49

We had a chat about it ad came to the conclusion that the end message was that, regardless of how hugely selfish, highly dramatic, unpleasant, manipulating or downright nasty you behave the break up a relationship usually means just one thing:

Everyone just moves on and makes the best out of what they have left. Even in the context of the high drama:

He got a good deal, new girl, new child, new start and the removal of the fear of being found out, prosecuted for theft etc.

She got a good deal, money troubles sorted, house and job back, son now idolises her... and the one honest woman in her life seemed to offer an olive branch at the end (small wave and smile).

For all the build up, for all the multitudes of wrongness, poor/illegal behaviours the final outcome was truly mundane.

And isn't that the basic truth? Regardless of the ups and down, our lives are basically mundane.

BabyGanoush Fri 09-Oct-15 14:20:26

OP, that is sad.

I suggest you leave!

I have lived in different tiwns and countries, and where I live now suits me and I feel happy here.

It really can be that you are just in the wrong place.

Go out into the world and find your tribe!

Spartans Fri 09-Oct-15 15:11:45

See OP I didn't see it as though everyone is against her. I saw it as though everyone, including her made bad decisions. Roz for example was friends with him first and had no idea what to do. You see threads here about whether someone should tell their friend about a OW and there is often differing views from people.

I also saw some reconciliation at the end.

Tbh I have lived in a few places, done different jobs etc. there will always people who are for you and people who are against. And people who don't know where they stand. I have 6 sets neighbours who I adore. Another set hates me. Never known why, I don't talk to them really. Same at school, get on with some mums, not others.

It's really depends on how bad it is for you. You won't ever live anywhere or live a life where everyone likes you. Of those that do like you, not all will take time out for you. Most people have a few close friends, and then people they just know.

Spartans Fri 09-Oct-15 15:14:24

offred yes sorry there was jack. Says a lot when the ranting alcoholic turns out to be the only decent one out of the programme. I did have sympathy for him.

Louisa111 Sat 10-Oct-15 17:28:28

I feel like Dr Foster sadly sad I have lots of friends and a lovely family but I can't shake the feeling my Dh is lying to me. It made me very uncomfortable and my heart went out to her when she first started realising that something wasn't right. I'm in that place right now, have been for a year and still can't get answers sad

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