Took mine off the day he finally admitted his affair. I wear a CZ ring now as I missed having a ring on that finger. I didn't realise how much I fiddled with my rings all the time so it helps wearing a different ring. SIL upset me just yesterday by asking why I don't wear my engagement ring anymore because it's so pretty???!!! Talk about lack of tact. Mind boggling.
Husband 1 demanded mine back as they were expensive. I wasn't keeping them unless I stayed. Worth it to let him have them so no, didn't wear them. Husband 2 I took it off when we were having problems and just never put it back on. Wear a pretty silver ring now DP gave me as the finger felt empty.
He is looking for elsewhere to live this week. There is no ow, marriage is just stale. he says The dc don't know yet and I don't want to say anything until he has actually got the place and about to move. So I cant take off rings until then.
But, they are just falling off my fingers now, what with losing weight with the stress.
I am putting too much thought into this, aren't I?
Hi Northumberland, sorry to hear that. I think we are in quite similar situations. It is hard, if there was evidence of another person then one was it might make it easier. He says there is no-one else and as everything has now been laid out on the table, I do think that if there was a ow he would have said so.
Telling the dc at the right time is very hard for me right now. I don't want to do it before he goes (as we don't know when that will be, its a bit complicated) and I am trying to put on a brave face in front of them. How old are your dc?
He has never worn his ring, took it off the year we were married....
I took mine off once XH moved out, as for me it was symbolic. My finger felt vey bare and was shrunken after 14 years of being constricted! (4 years later it is still smaller than my right one). My current DP bought me a beautiful ring which fits on my right hand, except in the mornings when my fingers are swollen so I wear that on my left hand for half the day. It feels more natural on that hand than the right bugger better propose!
I don't think your DCs will notice tbh, but wear it as long as you are comfortable, nobody else gets to dictate when you take it off.
Also, I'm sorry, but it's VERY unlikely that there isn't an OW unless your marriage is terrible. Very few men bail without somewhere else to go first and they barely ever admit to it. I'm not saying this to be hurtful, just because you can't move on if you don't know what the problem is and you think it can be fixed. I know of 2 men in my family who have both sworn blind there is nobody else, but within a few weeks have 'met' the love of their life and moved in together. Turns out it is someone they knew all along, but definitely didn't have an affair with
DS is 12 now, so 11 when I told him. Awful awful awful. He lashed out physically - I told him it was my decision. He sobbed and screamed at me that I was breaking his world (he is quite dramatic), but he talked to his Dad, we carried on. I told him 'age appropriate' truth - 10 months on and we're ok. DS sees his Dad regularly, not quite 50/50 because he works shifts and we are civil to each other.
It will be difficult to tell the kids when you don't know when he is leaving, I was lucky or unlucky (however you look at it) that he walked out that day and never came back.
What sort of time frame are you looking at for him to leave? weeks or months?
*It will be difficult to tell the kids when you don't know when he is leaving, I was lucky or unlucky (however you look at it) that he walked out that day and never came back.
What sort of time frame are you looking at for him to leave? weeks or months?*
Argh its so difficult North, not sure - could be weeks but due to other factors it could be more. I am definitely in limbo at the moment. My dd has picked up on things, every single day she asks me what's wrong....
I hope that your ds is okay now, I think that it better to rather live in a single happy household than in an unhappy one with both parents....
Took mine off when he went straight to live with OW. I wear my engagement ring on my other hand as it was also my mums so have memories. I have no idea where the wedding ring is. Kids have never said anything to me.
I have been separated for two years but we have had to live in the same house for financial reasons.H is soon to move out. I have only just taken my rings off and he has now taken his off as well. It just felt the right time as things are now moving on. Although the split is the right thing for both of us I still felt quite sad taking my rings off-It felt quite symbolic I guess.
I still wear mine when I am out of the house. I never used to take off the wedding band but now I take it off when I take the other one off (washing, cooking, bed...) He doesn't wear his wedding band any more, it was on his key ring for a while but I don't know if it still is. I suspect not.
My eternity ring is really really expensive and lovely. I have no wish to get involved with anyone else and I kind of feel the rings are a camouflage. I expect it will change with time. Probably I will take off the plain wedding band at some stage but keep the lovely diamonds. Also I don't hate STBX but feel kind of sorry for him, which I suppose makes a difference.