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Letting go of "the perfect me"

(8 Posts)
eternallflame Wed 30-Sep-15 21:08:36

I posted (I'm male btw) a few days ago about my (female but neither here not there) colleague. She got a recent call re work 100% right, I got it 100% wrong. They listened to me, but shouldn't have. I work in a macho unforgiving environment where women are frequently denigrated. Anyway based on advice received here I spoke to the colleague in question and acknowledged yes she was right, I was wrong. I also with great difficulty admitted I felt threatened by her success. Anyway she was most gracious and kind and I feel so liberated by stopping this stupid pretence I always know best. I know bloody nothing but at least I now know I know nothing. I have grown more as a human in the last week than since God knows when, partly thanks to all of you.

MyrtleMoans Wed 30-Sep-15 21:12:45

Try reading Mindset by Dr Carol Dweck

bridie69 Wed 30-Sep-15 21:42:15

Why did you think you were perfect in the first place? Is it not a first step to admit this?

cozietoesie Wed 30-Sep-15 21:47:28

Nah, eternal - you don't 'know nothing'. You just made a call which could have been better. It happens.

Remind me - are you getting treatment for that depression?

(I'm glad you spoke to her though.)


goddessofsmallthings Wed 30-Sep-15 21:50:24

Have you told your male colleagues and your boss(es) that she got it right and you got it wrong?

eternallflame Wed 30-Sep-15 22:07:42

Cozietoesie yes I am on my 3rd week of therapy. It is bloody terrifying what it unlocks but will hopefully do good in the long run.
Goddess I have not said it explicitly as I think it is plainly clear. Do you think I should?

bridie69 Wed 30-Sep-15 22:33:09

Therapy is not something that those who are not brave do, so pat yourself on the back for that..I think you should definitely tell colleagues and management about her correct call

WhoAteMyToast Thu 01-Oct-15 14:11:39

Well done. I think it is relevant she is female, actually.

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