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What kind of person is she?

(26 Posts)
mylife14 Tue 29-Sep-15 11:00:15

My husband began an affair fueled by alcohol nearly 3 years ago. It was sporadic sex at first because he only saw her when we travelled abroad to our holiday home. As the affair gathered pace, I finally gave up last November. So now he is living with her in her house in the sun. Our house in the sun was rented over the summer (and so not available for him to live in even though he didn't want to). This woman charged him rent for these weeks (between 2000 and 3000 euros). He expected me to contribute half of that by taking the amount off our rental income before we split it. I refused to do that and told him exactly what I thought of him to even consider asking me to do that. So I am clear about that.

What I would like to know is what people think about this woman charging him rent? She got married 4 years ago, dumped her husband last year, broke up my marriage, got what she wanted (my husband) and now wants to profit by it all financially. She does not need the money because she owns several properties and does not have to work.
So what kind of woman is she?

Mermaidhair Tue 29-Sep-15 11:03:43

Truthfully? I'm thinking what sort of man in he. Why are you even giving this any of your attention?

molyholy Tue 29-Sep-15 11:07:32

How can you be sure your ex is not lying about this and just wants more money off the rental income of your holiday home? I think it's him you should be aiming your anger at.

Twinklestein Tue 29-Sep-15 11:11:56

If it's true I think it's quite funny. If it's not then your husband is a worm.

Who cares what kind of woman she is, just focus on getting divorced.

goddessofsmallthings Tue 29-Sep-15 11:14:22

what kind of woman is she?

Avaricious comes to mind and it's probable she'll discard your h once she's drained him dry or a better prospect comes into view.

Do you have proof she's charged him rent to live with her, or could it be that he told you a porkie in order to increase the amount he has to spend on booze live on?

What is he living on? Does he have a job and will your house in the sun be rented out during the winter months, or is he proposing to live with there with or without the ow until next season?

Have you secured your UK finances and are you taking steps to divorce him?

ImperialBlether Tue 29-Sep-15 11:16:19

You need to split your finances asap and then try not to think about what he's spending his money on. It must be a really horrible time for you. flowers

MorrisZapp Tue 29-Sep-15 11:16:57

You have no way of knowing how true any of this is. Your finances are between you and your ex, her wants don't come into it.

mylife14 Tue 29-Sep-15 11:32:27

I have definite proof that he has paid her rent and contributes to the day to day expenses so he is not lying about that. He has a limited amount of income and she has loads of money.

I guess I am trying to figure out if their relationship is real or is she just using/manipulating him.

TheStoic Tue 29-Sep-15 11:32:54

She sounds shrewd. Financially, at least.

SiobhanSharpe Tue 29-Sep-15 11:40:08

er, no -- he gets half the rental income of your property abroad and that's it! Why on earth should you pay for any of his rent out of your half of this income?? (unless I have misunderstood your post?)

But it's his lookout if he has got tangled up with this woman. She sounds like a charmer but frankly it's your exH who seems like a complete car-crash.

MorrisZapp Tue 29-Sep-15 11:54:34

I'm also confused about the rent. Any suggestion by him that you give him your half of joint income is presumably a joke and to be treated as such.

mylife14 Tue 29-Sep-15 11:55:59

Just to give you a laugh - all three of us are in our sixties!

AyeAmarok Tue 29-Sep-15 11:57:02

I guess I am trying to figure out if their relationship is real or is she just using/manipulating him.

Don't waste any headspace on this. It truly makes no difference. He cheated, he's a cunt. That's the bottom line.

Focus on getting your finances separated asap so you're not funding her house. After that, what she charges him is his lookout. You will never know the ins and outs of their relationship, nor should you want to, so don't spend precious energy on trying to.

gamerchick Tue 29-Sep-15 11:59:46

I'm thinking she's exactly what the twat deserves. I would think he'll come crawling back so with his tail between his legs tbh.

Lonecatwithkitten Tue 29-Sep-15 12:00:59

I wouldn't even think about the complexities of their relationship. Disengage get divorced and split finances.
Or are you hoping he will 'see the light' and come back to you.

SiobhanSharpe Tue 29-Sep-15 12:01:41

Just to give you a laugh - all three of us are in our sixties!

Your exH is a shining example of the old adage 'there's no fool like an old fool'.

Luckily she has the old fool now, I hope you get your finanaces sorted soon.

heavens2betsy Tue 29-Sep-15 12:01:41

Get a good solicitor and don't pay his rent !!!
She's obviously not a nice person and nor is he - by the sound of it they deserve each other and you deserve a lot better.
Get rid of them both, move on and be happy.

thegiddylimit Tue 29-Sep-15 12:05:10

There's no age limit on being a fuckwit. Get a divorce from him on grounds of adultery, all financial discussions should be through a good solicitor and don't let him get more of your money.

tigermoll Tue 29-Sep-15 12:28:08

If he's living under her roof, he ought to be contributing to the household. How much exactly is for the two of them to sort out.
Keep your chin up, don't engage emotionally and I bet you dollars to donuts that he'll be back with his tail between his legs in a year. Of course, by then you will be so fabulous and sorted that you will just laugh in his face.

AnyFucker Tue 29-Sep-15 12:31:31



mylife14 Tue 29-Sep-15 12:34:24

I think that is what I am aiming for. I just wish it would happen sooner rather than later so that I can get off the emotional roller coaster ...

moopymoodle Tue 29-Sep-15 12:37:06

I think your anger is misplaced. Exposing her as taking the piss out of him isnt going to stop him trying to take the piss out of you or make him hate her. He's clearly limerant as there is no other reason for a person to be such a stupid mug!

Your well rid, stop trying to bring her down a peg or 2 to make yourself feel better, obsessing will make you feel worse flowers

gamerchick Tue 29-Sep-15 12:42:44

You want him to stop being a silly old fool and come home don't you?

mylife14 Tue 29-Sep-15 12:53:38

No. I definitely don't want him back. But at this point in time, laughing in his face would be good. May be I'll get over that eventually ..

gamerchick Tue 29-Sep-15 12:56:43

I'm really glad to hear that, my heart sunk slightly.

It is time to seperate finances and move on. Let him reap what he has sown.

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