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My fiancé and I have just split up.

(8 Posts)
ConfusedMuchly Fri 25-Sep-15 22:34:20

Been together 4 years. Posted about him on here numerous times. (Constant walking on egg shells, hypocritical behaviour, controlling, patronising, aggressive, bullying, emotional abuse ..... )

Well you guys told me over and over again to LTB. Well after completing a 13 hour shift and coming home to yet another out of proportion row in which he refused to make up and actually said "right that's it, we're arguining all night now!" (Yes, seriously) I had an epithany. What the actual fuck am I doing????
So we've officially split up.
Last week I enquired about two rented houses - so it's not a sudden split decision. I've now emailed them back to organise viewings.

Funnily enough my work place put a shit load of money into my bank today too which wasn't expected. I took it as a sign.

Please guys, talk me through coping mechanisms for the next few weeks/months x

chinam Fri 25-Sep-15 22:39:11

Well done. Best of luck. Wish I had something more articulate to say.

DragonsCanHop Fri 25-Sep-15 22:40:59

Wasn't expected but was owed/earned? Don't spend anything you are not sure about!

Do you have a joint bank account?

Take time to gather paperwork and arrange copies and don't forget to eat and look after yourself.

You don't need to communicate with him at all until your head is a bit cleare so get your self some space and some RL support.

flowers

NegativeIron Fri 25-Sep-15 22:44:40

Good luck.

You may find yourself going all lonesome and wondering if you have done the right thing. Keep this and previous threads to keep your backbone stiff.

winebrewcakeflowerswine...

Elizabethreallyismissing Fri 25-Sep-15 22:45:26

Oh well done! You are so doing the right thing! I'm sure he'll try every trick in the book to try and pretend he's changed, Don't listen to him. Go and look at the flats, get your financial stuff sorted as soon as possible and please keep posting, you will get the support you need here!

ConfusedMuchly Fri 25-Sep-15 22:57:50

Thanks guys. Yeah the money is owed, I just hadn't thought about it until it arrived. We have seperate bank accounts thank fuck and the mortgage is in his name soley. So - due to his lack of concern regarding my rights to my home, I'm not actually legally obliged to pay anything towards the mortgage. Yes he can apply to have me kicked out but how long will that take him? A few months of saving my entire full time wage before having to leave? Bring it on. I'll have thousands by November.
I'm angry now, no doubt ill calm down and play nicely but right now, I intend to look after me and my boys.

My lovely cousin is on hand to offer RL support, we're going out tomorrow night. She was meant to be my bridesmaid. I'm sad in on respect because we had lots of good times but I'm more excited that actually - I'm free from his negative presence. I'm free from his moaning. I'm free from his babyish 20 year old son. I'm just free from all the bullshit.

GriefLeavesItsMark Sat 26-Sep-15 00:20:13

As you do not jointly own or rent the property he only has to give you 'reasonable notice' iicr there is no legal definition, so a couple of weeks? Then he can change the locks with no comeback. If I was youwould be having a chat with CAB.

Handywoman Sat 26-Sep-15 07:36:16

Oh well done you!

I think I would prepare a contingency for accommodation in case he gets really nasty.

Welcome to the rest of your life, it's looking much brighter and better already...

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