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AIBU - parents attitude

(7 Posts)
sweetandsun Fri 18-Sep-15 20:51:49

I don't know if this is a case of me being over-sensitive or whether I am right in feeling fed up about the way my parents treat me.

Its a petty problem compared to most on here... ive just felt down about it today and not sure if i need to get a grip!

i live around 2 hours from my parents. everytime i organise to meet them, they come up with various excuses last minute:

- they 'forget' we have made plans and say i must drive to them (i already do this now and then anyway) and that they wont meet where we originally agreed (despite it being a half hour drive for them)
- say get to the venue between 1 and 2 hours late
- they change plans half an hour before (sometimes by the time i have already left).

when i go to see them, they will often not be in, or change plans last minute. a few months ago i booked time off work as they wanted us to 'go away as a family' and i was reluctant to do it as it was far for me to travel, then two days before they told me they had decided not to go away anymore... if i hadnt mentioned it i doubt i would have been told until the day.

im by no means 'attached' to my family in a way where i feel i cant be apart from them, but i do feel guily when they tell me i dont see them enough etc...and then why i try to, they seem to treat me like crap. neither of them would treat their friends this way, so i dont understand it.

these things have become a common theme, and i feel conflicted because my parents arent bad people, and i know they care for me, but this attitude where they obviously couldnt give a shit about messing up my weekends/having a go at me for no reason, has started to get to me. this time i have made my own excuses before anything has the opportunity to be arranged, as i need a few weeks off from it all. we only see each other once or twice a month, but there is always a problem. they both work part time whereas i get home at gone 9pm each night, and it's like they have no understanding of this - i want to enjoy my weekend not spend it being messed around by my family or having to deal with a drama.

am i being unfair here? is this just family stuff we all have to deal with and i should get over it?!

thanks in advance smile

pocketsaviour Fri 18-Sep-15 20:54:16

No you're not being unfair.

my parents arent bad people, and i know they care for me

I beg to differ. I'm sorry sad

If a boyfriend did this to you, you'd dump him. You don't have to take disrespect from anyone.

sweetandsun Fri 18-Sep-15 20:56:05

They will call an hour or so later, or text and say am i ok etc... and if i make a fuss and say theyve upset me, they can be quite sarcastic and brush it off. not in a properly nasty way, but more in a way that makes me feel quite small and as if i am making a drama.

it's confusing.

sweetandsun Fri 18-Sep-15 20:58:49

making a joke out if it...that's probably the closest description i can think of.

Misnomer Fri 18-Sep-15 20:59:47

YANBU. It's not you, it's them. I'm sorry but they sound horrible.

loveyoutothemoon Fri 18-Sep-15 21:05:54

You've given them too many chances. If it was me, I wouldn't talk to them any more. Maybe they will realise.

Atenco Fri 18-Sep-15 22:19:34

I don't know about not talking to them anymore, but I would let them do the running. I have had friends a bit like that, so I always take any supposed plans with a pinch of salt. If they are going to come to your house, either let it be a day that you feel like hanging out at home, or arrange a backup plan for if they cancel.

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