This is how it is: I don't work at the moment due to illness, I am trying to find a job, I worked right from leaving school but i'm a little limited now...it's just a bit more difficult, not impossible. My partner works. We both have our own homes, we don't live together but he is here much of the time. I have never asked him for anything towards my bills...why would I? It's my home my responsibility. I buy the shopping every week, I cook all his meals. He "borrows" money from me often and then doesn't want to give it back...saying well he takes me shopping and that costs petrol. He also "reminds" me of anything he's bought me in the past (birthday and Christmas gifts).
When he comes back from work the house has to be spotless (difficult with two kids, and a dog who sheds everywhere, brings muddy footprints in and is a complete maniac jumping up the walls and dirtying them. But I try my best. In fact, I spend most of every day cleaning and he still finds fault.
When he comes in, he demands a hot drink and parks himself on the sofa, if i'm tired from cleaning all day he's funny with me, if i'm not, he's funny with me...I haven't done enough. If I've taken any time for myself, he's funny with me because i'm lazy. I'm not allowed time for myself when he's here...i'm not giving him enough attention. I'm not allowed to read a book, use the internet. If I do, I don't love him anymore. He controls the tv, sometimes he'll say "put what you want on" but then he'll huff and puff and make it very obvious he's bored. When he isn't at work he wakes up, I cook breakfast, he goes to sleep on the sofa and does nothing all day, while I run around for him. He deserves it, because he's exhausted apparently.
He constantly whinges that I show him no affection anymore, don't cuddle up to him on the sofa...how can I when i'm squashed up in the corner with his legs on me..so I cant move? Some nights i'm so uncomfortable I go and sit on the floor but he takes that as a personal insult too. He doesn't give a flying fart that I have back problems.
His moods are changeable, sometimes he's "perfect partner", sometimes he's "passive aggressive" and sometimes he's downright bloody nasty, will flip at the slightest thing. Example: the other day he called me up when he was in the bath. I went up, he started shouting at me saying I had more sleep than him (not true), I walked out of the bathroom (didn't want to argue) and I was getting changed into my pyjamas when he runs into the bedroom naked. I was putting my clothes away, he shouted "MOVE". I didn't move straight away, it was probably less than 30 seconds to put my clothes in the draw. He picked me up and pushed me over, saying I was "fucking horrible".
I'm so sick of his moods, sick of treading on eggshells, he's never hit me but he's done some awful things. I don't deserve it, I think i'm a good partner. I wash his clothes, I make his meals, I make his lunch for work, I bail him out when he has no money, I do everything he asks. Where am I going wrong?
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Relationships
My head is frazzled, am I being abused or just silly?
perfecthouse · 15/09/2015 13:42
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