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Could you date a teetotaller?

(105 Posts)
Abundatia Sun 13-Sep-15 19:34:26

I recently ended a relationship after he gave me an ultimatum: that either I start drinking alcohol or he would dump me. So I dumped him.

My non-drinking isn't a big deal or something I tend to bring up. Not in AA or anything. I just don't want to drink anymore.

Would you date a teetotaller? Why or why not?

Artandco Sun 13-Sep-15 19:35:52

Of course, alcohol or not has nothing to do with a relationship ( unless an alcoholic)

Scobberlotcher Sun 13-Sep-15 19:36:12

Absolutely i would.
Why on earth not is my only thought.

You are well rid of him. How ridiculous of him.

Hero1callylost Sun 13-Sep-15 19:38:04

Unless your main pastime is clubbing/pubbing/drinking I don't get why anyone wouldn't date a teetotaller.

Good for you for dumping him! smile

MusicMum18 Sun 13-Sep-15 19:38:20

I am married but I would date a teetotaller, I don't drink much myself, just the odd glass of red and mulled wine at Xmas.
Good for you dumping your ex, what a ridiculous ultimatum. He needed to accept you as you are. What about if you are a veggie and he didn't like it? Would he tell you to eat meat otherwise you'd be dumped.
I say good riddance. I'd have done the same as you.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 13-Sep-15 19:38:24

Yes of course, unless the date insisted I was teetotal too.

oldaninpurple Sun 13-Sep-15 19:38:58

Absolutely I would, mainly because I am one. Did he say why he wanted you to drink? Not that it matters are indeed, well rid!

Chasingsquirrels Sun 13-Sep-15 19:39:07

Well, I am, so yes.
DP was bemused by my non-drinking when we first got together and kept telling me I'd like certain things - I don't and I'd rather have a soft drink. Now I think he just appreciates the fact that we never have to have the whose driving home discussion.

MrsPresley Sun 13-Sep-15 19:39:35

My DP is teetotal.

Doesn't bother me, and my drinking doesn't bother him.

In almost 20 years I have never seen DP have an alcoholic drink of any kind, it's just perfectly normal for us and I really don't understand why anyone would have a problem with someone who doesn't drink confused

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Sun 13-Sep-15 19:42:57

Wouldn't bother me as long as he didn't mind me going to beer festivals and drinking with my friends.

I wouldn't tolerate being judged for it, or forbidden from going into pubs, but just with someone who chose not to partake themselves, no, no problem.

Abundatia Sun 13-Sep-15 19:43:11

The experience was a bit of a blow to my ego and now I fear that men may not be attracted to somebody who doesn't drink. My ex said every couple should be able to get tipsy together and that it's a normal part of life.

tribpot Sun 13-Sep-15 19:43:31

Could you date a drinker, OP? I know I couldn't - but then I am in recovery so my situation is somewhat different (er, plus I am married so not doing a whole lotta dating anyway).

I would absolutely bin off anyone who made this kind of ultimatum. I would hesitate to date someone who drank regularly but only because I need not to be around alcohol and so logistically it would be difficult.

captainproton Sun 13-Sep-15 19:43:46

I am teetotal and my DH was not when we met. Now he barely drinks, maybe a glass of something at a party perhaps. He says his health has improved, our finances certainly have. He says he just fell into the habit of having a glass of wine of an evening or sometimes a bottle. His drinking never bothered me, he changed because I wasn't encouraging him, so there is hope.

I think anyone who puts booze before a loved one has a troubled relationship with alcohol imo. I think you are well rid.

Abundatia Sun 13-Sep-15 19:44:06

He said I should drink because it's more "normal." He said having to drink wine while I drank water was "embarrassing"

category12 Sun 13-Sep-15 19:44:27

I think I'd find it an advantage tbh. My ex was definitely not a teetotaller.

tribpot Sun 13-Sep-15 19:46:37

Two billion people in the world drink alcohol. Which means 5 billion people do not. Thus statistics conclude (as if there was any doubt) he is talking bollocks.

Abundatia Sun 13-Sep-15 19:46:43

I could date a drinker. I couldn't date a binge drinker who was getting absolutely wasted regularly though. Good luck with your recovery x

Saltedcaramel4 Sun 13-Sep-15 19:47:42

He's wrong. Not every couple gets tipsey together. However, every successful relationship has partners who respect each other

Abundatia Sun 13-Sep-15 19:47:55

Although he didn't drink excessively around me my gut instinct is that he drank loads normally and possibly had a drinking problem.

tribpot Sun 13-Sep-15 19:47:55

Thanks - I've been sober for 4.5 years. Unlike your wanker of an ex!

Lweji Sun 13-Sep-15 19:50:47

I wouldn't date anyone who told me what I should drink or not.

You did well to dump him. Now you should find someone who has a healthy relationship with drink and for you to have a healthy relationship with.

HappyJustToBe Sun 13-Sep-15 19:50:53

My DH doesn't drink at all. He drank a little when we met but did that due to pressure from his social circle. As he got older he realised that drinking to please others was ridiculous. It is a complete non issue for us. Well done, OP.

RachelZoe Sun 13-Sep-15 19:54:44

What the hell?

I love a drink, I really do. DH will only drink on holiday or at a very special occasion/once in a blue moon will join me for a rum and coke etc and even then only in moderation, he has maybe 5-10 units a year.

It has never been an issue. That guy sounds dreadful, people who care that much about appearing "normal" are always a waste of time.

60sname Sun 13-Sep-15 19:56:03

I personally wouldn't. Neither DH nor I regularly drink to excess but I do enjoy getting tipsy with him (when not pg!) . IME it is hard for non-drinkers to avoid judging drinkers.

However clearly there are plenty of people who would be happy to date a teetotaller.

Mindexplode Sun 13-Sep-15 19:59:42

My dh doesn't drink much, maybe champagne at a wedding. I do drink, but a couple of glasses at weekends. Occasionally I will go out with people and drink more in company. He doesn't comment much on my drink other than offer me wine after a bad day. I know he will mostly drive home unless we agree to get a taxi and he gets up with the dc in the mourning

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