Just to give some background.
I was with DS dad for 7 years, it was an abusive relationship, after two years of us splitting up, with some counselling, DEX going to perpetrator classes and so on, I decided to get back in a relationship with him.
DEX ( DS dad, who is now an ex) and I always had problems when it came to sex. He has a higher sex drive and I and wants sex constantly. Also, in the past, DEX use to highly pressure me into sex and I always use to give in so that he could remain happy. But once I started to stand up for myself and say "No" or " I don't feel like it" etc, this has created problems between himself and I.
We only have sex twice a week (which is a huge problem for Dex), we don't live together by the way, but the reason why we have limited sex is because I get so busy, the huge majority of the time I care for DS and so on. Not only that but Dex puts me off sex. As an example, he came with me to drop off DS at his mothers house, when we did, Dex really wanted me to have sex with him in the tower block. Now, I know some couples get the thrill of having sex in public places etc. But this is not the case, Dex would want to have sex anywhere whenever he is feeling horny.
I also feel that whenever he takes me out to restaurants, any place nice, he expects me to give him sex as a reward for the day and of course when I say no, he gets into a tantrum.
As you can imagine, this puts me off, I feel like I have to have sex with him just so that he can remain happy in the relationship.
In a recent event, I was very busy one day as I had to go to a meeting concerning DS and arranged to meet an after school club provider later on that day. I had a call from Dex, I grumble as I know why he is calling me, and after all the useless chit chat, I quickly say that I'm not able to see him today (for sex) as I'm so busy with XYZ and he completely blows his top off. He began to say " I hardly have sex with you"...." I take you out and it doesn't change"..... " Why don't you want me?". So I tell him that I was bored with the relationship ( not bored with him iyswim) and that I felt what I used to felt in the past that I had to have sex with him just so he can remain happy and I don't want to be that person anymore, I don't want to feel like that again. He then told me that I was "Ugly"....that he could get "more sex with his ex", I cried and then told him that I wanted to end the relationship and I was sick of this.
But then I look at past threads on here, some women complaining that they don't get enough sex from their partner and I feel bad, that it is my fault. But for me, it was a control thing, I always gave in to having sex with Dex even if I didn't feel like it, I would be tired and he wouldn't care. So when I realised that I could say "no" and shouldn't feel guilty, he really didn't like this.
Oh! I don't know. I'm so confused.
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Should I have of left him? I feel so guilty
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WWYD2 · 13/09/2015 14:11
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