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I am a twat of twats

(24 Posts)
Nothavingfunrightnow Wed 09-Sep-15 22:42:32

Fucking got on to OLD. Loads of chatting with a "man". Sent him fortunately none too revealing photos and it turns out he is a complete and utter fuck job. He has an online erotic literature site etc etc.

Fortunately I did not send or say much but Christ I feel like a complete fuckwit.

Hand holding, please? He even reassured me about being my break up blah blah blah, about psychos online, his friend meeting the love of her life online on and on. Jesus Christ I feel SO stupid. And embarrassed.

Jodiemacdonald31 Wed 09-Sep-15 22:44:49

Live n learn :/ happens to the best of us smile

Nothavingfunrightnow Wed 09-Sep-15 22:49:52

urgh.

AnyFucker Wed 09-Sep-15 22:53:24

Yup

Nobody died though, right ?

goddessofsmallthings Wed 09-Sep-15 23:17:53

Why did you send "fortunately none too revealing photos' to someone you haven't met or checked out in rl?

Is this something you make a habit of? If so, your boundaries are in need of an urgent overhaul otherwise you may find yourself being taken for more than a ride to a distinctly unpleasant destination.

If not, consider it a lesson learned the hard way and resolve not to be so gullible in future.

Bear in mind that what you're hooking up with online is random strangers and you're best advised to exercise extreme caution until such time as you've had opportunity to suss them out in rl, after having taken sensible precautions to meet in a public place with trusted friend(s) being made aware of your plans and given the stranger's details as you told to you by them.

You should also be extremely wary about giving your address before you've met them, avoid drinking too much alcohol while on a date, and do not invite them to your home until you are confident that they are who and what they claim to be.

This may mean that you don't get to go on many dates, but it's far better to hold out for the quality guys amongst the vast quantity of chancers and tossers who join old sites in the hope of adding more notches to their bedposts, or who want to get their rocks off through sexting and suchlike activities.

travellinglighter Thu 10-Sep-15 07:20:41

I got talking to a girl and she asked for me to do the same, like you, none too revealing because I want to look in someones eyes before I show them the contents of my pants. The pictures I got back were shock.

She told me about the sissy boy she walks on a lead dressed in a rubber catsuit. Pass the mind bleach.

niceupthedance Thu 10-Sep-15 07:23:05

You binned him because he has an erotic literature website??

minmooch Thu 10-Sep-15 07:41:36

Ffs - why are people so stupid? You sent pictures (any pictures) to a man you have not met? And you need hand holding for this act of stupidity? Grow up. Realise that those on line may be married/gay/a woman/younger/older/not exist at all. It's all bull shit until you meet. It's all bull shit until you get to know the person.

Learn from this. And don't send photos to strangers.

ShebaShimmyShake Thu 10-Sep-15 09:19:40

I'm sorry, I don't understand. You're not feeling it, fair enough, but what's wrong with writing erotica and publishing it online? Unless he's trying to pressure you into things you don't want to do, but that's a separate issue entirely, and you don't have to write erotica to do that...

VenusInFauxFurs Thu 10-Sep-15 09:29:08

I have an Erotic literature website! I'm nice.

Actually I know at least one male erotic writer on OkCupid. Was yours on OKC?

OneDayWhenIGrowUp Thu 10-Sep-15 09:30:21

What's the etc etc? I'm also not seeing writing erotica as = massive problem, depending on whether the specific erotica matched my tastes or not!

Have you been on the dating thread? I haven't for a while but it used to be excellent and have a set of 'rules' which I still trot out to friends - it's all bullshit till it happens and don't emotionally invest too soon being the most quoted, I think!

So this guy isn't your future life partner, delete/block, next! That's OD I'm afraid. One of the reasons I always wanted to meet in real life early on, and would multi-date in the early stages, was to avoid this feeling of having wasted my time like this.

TheDowagerCuntess Thu 10-Sep-15 09:30:44

Jaysus....

You can see why 14 year old girls get so easily sucked into this, if grown women are falling for it. I've never done OLd, so am totally naive when it comes to the dynamic of the communications that clearly go on.

But fucking hell, any tips on how to talk with my daughter when she reaches a certain age, as to the inherent dangers of this, would be much appreciated.

pocketsaviour Thu 10-Sep-15 10:00:10

I think we need more details here. What does the "etc etc" entail? Are you suspecting him of publishing women's photos or something?

BastardGoDarkly Thu 10-Sep-15 10:05:55

I'm also not sure what this guys done wrong?

TheDowagerCuntess Thu 10-Sep-15 10:09:30

bastard - the op clearly thought she was conversing with a regular guy, but it turns out he was fishing for material for his website.

Material of the sort that most people wouldn't exactly be delighted to have planted across the www for all of humanity to see.

BastardGoDarkly Thu 10-Sep-15 10:12:59

Was he though? The two might not be connected? <prepared to be wrong, I'm not knowledgeable about OLD>

worldgonecrazy Thu 10-Sep-15 10:23:51

Google "false intimacy and the internet". There is something about the internet that lulls us into a false sense of intimacy. We think we somehow "know" someone that we've never met - Facebook "really good friends" who've never met, people who fall in love and then find out it was a spambot. You're not the first to be lulled, and you won't be the last.

Learn the lesson and move on.

TheDowagerCuntess Thu 10-Sep-15 10:32:12

I have not the first clue about OLD, but reading her OP, that's the only possible conclusion to draw.

She thought he was genuine.

DarkNavyBlue Thu 10-Sep-15 11:00:56

Do you think he is going to publish your photos?

If not Im another one here who doesn't see what he's done wrong.

Nothavingfunrightnow Thu 10-Sep-15 19:58:44

I just felt stupid because I think he publishes photos he receives. But then that's my utter, utter stupidity.

I am not bothered in the slightest by the publishing of erotic literature. I think I panicked last night thinking he may use photos he receives (if he even is a he) to publish.

I told a close friend I had done something g really, really stupid. Her response was "what? Have ex with your x?"

That put things into perspective because THAT would have been moronic.

Thank you for all the replies. Gentle and harsh. I deserve no less. Lesson learned.

ImperialBlether Thu 10-Sep-15 20:02:13

Honestly, travellinglighter, you are so narrowminded.

grin

pinkrosa Thu 10-Sep-15 21:30:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

travellinglighter Thu 10-Sep-15 21:37:51

Hi Imperial Blether.

Shy boy me.

TL

pinkrosa Thu 10-Sep-15 21:38:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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