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how to reply to this text?

(98 Posts)
CocoPlum Wed 09-Sep-15 19:37:39

Long, sorry. Posted on dating thread but it's v quiet on there atm. Need to vent. Was messaging a nice man on POF for a couple of weeks, when he returned.from.his holiday he asked me out, we went for drinks on Fri before I met another friend. Went well, he actually gave me butterflies. He texted me over the weekend, said he'd like to see me again, suggested Thursday, could he see me for longer than a couple of hours this time? I arranged with exH to swap nights with DCs so I could go.

Mon eve POF man texts me just with a funny thing that'd happened with his kids that evening, and mentions he's got a day off work Tuesday.

Tuesday (yesterday) I hear nothing.

Today, I drop him a quick text to say how was his day off, are we still on for tomorrow.

An hour ago I get a text saying sorry but he has to cancel. He feels too stressed at work to start something, his head isn't in the right place, he should be excited about another date and instead he's thinking about work stuff, he's v sorry.

I'm gutted but am trying to work out what to text back. I'd already told him a while back I was v close to taking a break from OLD, so I was trying to work out how to say "hope it gets better soon, am taking a break from OLD but you have my number if things change" - wanted to leave it open and friendly without being desperate and upset, and not wanting to be pissed off at the hassle I had switching nights!

While mulling it over I went into POF to delete my account ... I can see he's logged on.

Am really gutted. Stupid I know but he seemed lovely, and he was the first date I'd had that made my tummy flip. I'm sure it's "he's not that into you" but signs I'd had since first date were all good!

How would you text back??

Wankarella Wed 09-Sep-15 19:39:29

I wouldn't, or if I did I would have to mention seeing him on POF.

Twinklestein Wed 09-Sep-15 19:40:29

I don't think it really matters what you say given that he's not interested.

I'd probably put 'ok see ya'.

ImperialBlether Wed 09-Sep-15 19:40:54

I wouldn't send a text. What message can you send? He's told you he's not up for a relationship (sounds like flaky reasons, but who knows?) and you can see he's been on POF again. He's messing you around. Butterflies will come again when you meet someone else, but surely you know POF is full of the most unreliable people you could ever have the misfortune to meet?!

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Wed 09-Sep-15 19:42:15

I would text back, "ok, thanks for letting me know".

Because some men wouldn't have done. What else can you say?

ruddynorah Wed 09-Sep-15 19:42:17

Maybe he just wants to chat to people but not meet them. Thrill of the chase.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Wed 09-Sep-15 19:43:27

I wouldn't not reply because I always think thay makes you sound like you are too heartbroken to say anything!

BackInTheRealWorld Wed 09-Sep-15 19:43:49

God don't even bother replying, he is brushing you off.
And if he does contact you I. A few weeks then who ever he brushed you off for has obviously brushed him off.
Don't waste your time or energy.

BackInTheRealWorld Wed 09-Sep-15 19:44:17

*Contact you in a few weeks

SurlyCue Wed 09-Sep-15 19:44:53

Youre massively overthinking this! Either reply "ok thanks for letting me know" or dont reply. Either way, move on. He isnt interested.

ImperialBlether Wed 09-Sep-15 19:44:58

Or "OK, have fun."

SurlyCue Wed 09-Sep-15 19:45:41

Yes what back said.

Jw35 Wed 09-Sep-15 19:50:40

Text him back a picture of yourself naked and write 'you will never get this'

Dowser Wed 09-Sep-15 19:56:16

Has his holiday romance born fruit?

Something's happened to change his mind and he's tried to let you down gently.

Don't take it personally. My first date let me down and then I met my second who was much more of a catch ! It was POF after all.

We are getting married next week.

I just wished my date good luck for the future . I would do the same to yours. You owe each other nothing, so just treat him as a friend or a ship that passed in the night.

Footle Wed 09-Sep-15 19:58:35

Jw35, that's possibly the worst piece of advice I've seen on MN.

beardsrock Wed 09-Sep-15 19:58:47

Howl at Jw35

Don't text him back, OP.

beardsrock Wed 09-Sep-15 19:59:40

Surely Jw was being facetious, Footle?

Olivepip59 Wed 09-Sep-15 19:59:56

No. Maintain your dignity and keel your powder dry for someone who will value you properly.

Olivepip59 Wed 09-Sep-15 20:00:11

*keep blush

Iusedtobeapenguin Wed 09-Sep-15 20:01:57

Don't text anything. He's made it clear he can't be arsed so why should you bother?

Footle Wed 09-Sep-15 20:04:37

Beardsrock, I was too startled to realise. Jw35, excuse my facetiousness detector fail. Superb suggestion.

Jw35 Wed 09-Sep-15 20:05:42


AnyFucker Wed 09-Sep-15 20:06:38

I love that idea by Jw grin

CocoPlum Wed 09-Sep-15 20:11:45

jw thank you, that made me laugh!

I know I'm over thinking it. I get that someone would not want to see me again, but after the first date, then just be polite, don't schedule again, and he knew I'd made the effort to rearrange with ex. He also sent nice messages chatting in between ... I'm not having the best week and right now I'm trying to stay smiley as ex is about to turn up to drop something off. Currently having one of those "I'm going alone forever" moments!

brokenhearted55a Wed 09-Sep-15 20:13:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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