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Divorce/House Sale Advice

(14 Posts)
yoomoo Thu 03-Sep-15 14:02:00

I need some advice for a friend please, long long story but after many years of EA they are currently in the process of getting divorced, he unfortunately got in first and filed the papers so appears to be in control?
The issue is he's delaying at every corner and my friends solicitor seems to not be doing much about it.
My friend wants to move things forward by getting the house on the market so they can then sort out a financial settlement. A house valuation was due to take place this week but he's now cancelled that (playing games) saying to the agent he will refuse to sign the contract of sale. My friend is in absolute pieces as she wants to just be out of the house away from him (still having to live together) but he's being so difficult.
Does anyone have any experience of this? What can my friend do to speed things up and get the house on market and away from him ASAP? I'm really worried for her mental health the longer this continues its destroying her.
Sorry for the rambling, thank you in advance.

BeautifulBatman Thu 03-Sep-15 14:05:59

He filed for divorce but has cancelled the house valuation (which is a pretty key process in divorce settlements)? Why did he do that?

Joysmum Thu 03-Sep-15 14:07:44

In guessing because he's EA and that's a continuation of the torture he's putting he through.

yoomoo Thu 03-Sep-15 14:08:51

He's doing it to try and destroy her, he is a horrible horrible man and will do anything he can to upset her. He claims in the divorce papers he still loves her etc. but his behaviour says otherwise, classic emotional abuse when you read the WA pages often linked on here. He seems to be saying he wants to buy her out and is meeting a mortgage advisor to discuss but that will take 7-10 days?! It's a control thing and she's so powerless. I'm trying to get her to take control back but need to know what she can do (if anything)

yoomoo Thu 03-Sep-15 14:12:18

Joysmum spot on

hellsbellsmelons Thu 03-Sep-15 14:29:02

Are they both out of the house at the same time?
She doesn't have to sign any papers from estate agents.
You should get 3 quotes anyway.
Get her to book a valuation when he is going to be out of the house.
That way at least she will know what it is worth.
He doesn't need to know about that.

Just because he's filed doesn't mean he's in control.
I think she needs a SHL. She should be able to put in a counter petition for abuse. This can be a waste of time and money but worth looking into to maybe give him the kick he needs to move forward.
If she threatens it he may pull his finger out.

Can she contact womens aid and get some advice from them?
They will be able to recommend decent solicitors who deal with this kind of scummy man.

yoomoo Thu 03-Sep-15 14:46:10

Thanks hellsbells. Sorry to be dim what's SHL?

hellsbellsmelons Thu 03-Sep-15 14:59:20

Shit Hot Lawyer
Sorry, should have expanded.
It's a well known abbreviation on MN as you can imagine, with all the fuckwit men there seem to be.

pocketsaviour Thu 03-Sep-15 15:19:36

She definitely need a solicitor who is experienced in dealing with fuckwits of this stripe.

Could she contact Womens Aid? They should have a list of solicitors in her area who they recommend. They can also advise on how to avoid his abuse and stay safe.

If she feels threatened, if he is being aggressive, throwing things, shouting swearing etc, she should call the police, and may be able to get a non-molestation order on the back of that which would get him out. WA can advise more fully.

Hope she gets some help and glad she has a friend by her side. He sounds awful.

yoomoo Thu 03-Sep-15 15:22:15

Ah ok thank you. I lurk a lot on here but don't post much. I've been sending her encouraging messages this afternoon so fingers crossed she will go ahead with the valuations. Her solicitor has sent a number of letters now to his asking for house to be put on market but they are completely ignoring them. I don't understand how they can do this?! She has a lot more money in the house than him and I think he's doing this to try and get her to just give him everything he wants! Sorry for the questions I've never dealt with anything like this before so any helpful advice/comments are really appreciated

yoomoo Thu 03-Sep-15 15:27:03

Thanks pocket I do feel her current solicitor isn't doing the very best for her but that's just my perception. Will see which ones WA recommend locally. I think he's too clever to do anything that would lead to her calling the police as he knows that won't help his victim routine he's put in the divorce papers, honestly you couldn't make it up. I would love to know what his solicitor makes of him. He is so so vile I could cry for her sad

pocketsaviour Thu 03-Sep-15 15:42:32

Presuming the house deeds are in joint names, legally he can dig his heels in and refuse to sell until an agreement is made during the divorce proceedings. So at this stage, her solicitor can keep asking, but if he tells his solicitor not to respond, then their hands are tied.

BeautifulBatman Thu 03-Sep-15 16:48:25

She has a lot more money in the house than him and I think he's doing this to try and get her to just give him everything he wants!

It doesn't really matter who's put more money in when you're married. If it's the martial home, it's a joint asset.....

yoomoo Thu 03-Sep-15 20:11:10

Yes deeds in joint name, so annoying he can just dig his heels in though and she's pretty much powerless to stop it.

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