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Good friends broken up - advice to support please?

(4 Posts)
Sawdustgirl Thu 27-Aug-15 22:04:25

Two of my friends broke up, reasonably amicably. She wants children and he doesn't, and it's finally come down to the crunch and they ended it. So not a horrible wailing and fighting thing, but they've been together years so it's pretty... you know.

Does anyone have advice how I can support especially my one friend I'm closest to (and live closet to, so more able to offer practical support)? They has self-esteem issues which are not solved by telling them they're great, and this is going to make it even worse. I'm honestly worried he's going to go into a downward spiral. But there's only so many times you can tell someone they're a great person (they are!) when they just can't take it in. One wrong move, one bad thing happens and he just feels terrible for ages.

I'm happy being single and don't want a partner so I have trouble understanding I guess what it's like to need that and be afraid it won't happen for you, which is why I'm asking for advice.

Wando Fri 28-Aug-15 07:54:50

There are no easy answers. Part of it is being there to pick up the pieces.

If you can try and encourage him to keep busy that may also help in the short term. What he needs is time.

BobbinThreadbare Fri 28-Aug-15 13:36:29

That's very nice of you to even think like that. My friends were useless when my XH sodded off. Some still haven't even been in touch or mentioned it and it was a couple of years ago. Obviously not really friends then....

The things that helped me were people doing normal things with me, coming round for tea, going out for a coffee, walking etc. instead of treating me like I had some sort of terminal illness (some people acted like divorce might be catching)

SawdustInMyHair Sun 30-Aug-15 00:23:22

Thanks, that is helpful! I will definitely avoid terminal-illnessing him smile

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