I've just left a relationship of 2.5 years. It's definitely had highs and lows, and DP has some major MH issues (depression/anxiety) which has really impacted on us over the years. He is on medication and awaiting counselling. I know he had a very tough childhood in lots of areas and I can see this has really affected him and made him the way he is.
Both have grown up DC, both late forties, living close but not together.
He had many positive qualities, but could also be very hard work - he constantly pushed me away, stating he did not want a relationship and that he was better on his own. We broke up several times, for a month or so, but always got back together, although nothing really changed.
He isn't affectionate at all, rarely kisses me. He is rough sexually and has made me cry several times when we have been intimate. He is rude and outspoken, although says this is merely being honest. He can be racist and drinks too much. He has had inappropriate text/facebook relationships with at least two people since we've been together.
I never get flowers or chocolates or anything, yet I buy him little treats all the time. He'll quite often forget to text me and has cancelled dates at very short notice.
For some reason last night I decided enough was enough. Nothing particular happened but it just hit me that I wasn't very happy. He was incredibly flippant about it and wished me well - no feelings of sadness were shown at all.
I can't bear the though of being alone, I am rubbish with my own company, which might be part of the reason I have stuck with it for so long.
Reading the above I know absolutely that I have made the right decision, but I want to try 'one last time', hoping against hope things will be different this time.
But they won't, will they?
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Relationships
If I've done the right thing, why does it hurt so much?
5 replies
underthetable · 23/08/2015 15:11
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