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Dating advice at 41 - not sure of next steps (if any)

(4 Posts)
Lostlou Fri 21-Aug-15 20:17:31

I separated from my dh in 2012, divorce finalised in 2013. We'd been married for nearly 13 years and met at university. After the separation I met someone else and subsequently split up from them (beginning of Feb this year) after a relationship of around 2 years.

After being under a cloud for several months I am now looking at dating again. I'm on a few (OK 3) dating websites and Tinder (in relation to the latter no I haven't hooked up with anyone on there).

I have date number 4 lined up with a guy I really like tomorrow afternoon / evening. We met online. No firm plans yet but it might involve walk with his dog or bike ride or dinner in a nice country pub. Just to clarify by 'date number 4' I mean the fourth date with him. I've had dates with other guys (just the once each time) but haven't been interested in a second date.

This guy is lovely but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do next!! I know this sounds utterly pathetic but I'm very cautious about getting involved but also really not sure about his feelings. I suppose he must be reasonably keen otherwise we wouldn't be on date 4...

No kissing so far, just a hug when we meet and when we leave. If I was younger (!!) I'd probably just get myself drunk and throw myself at him but we all get older and wiser at some point I suppose.

Would be really great to get some advice from others who have been through the webdating minefield.


pocketsaviour Fri 21-Aug-15 20:40:32

Do you fancy him? If so, this time when you meet, go for the kiss.

If you're too shy to go for it, just stay in the hug, so to speak, tilt your face towards his. He should get the idea.

Then next date, ask him if he wants to come to dinner at your place. Food, wine, snog on sofa, up to bed. Job's a carrot grin

Lostlou Fri 21-Aug-15 21:18:44

oh heck I suppose I'll have to at some time. Quaking at the thought. Yes I do fancy him (I think) but he's quite reserved. Maybe he's just on his best behaviour.

I'll let you know how it goes!

Minime85 Fri 21-Aug-15 21:25:10

I'm 38. Started dating again at 37 after 13 yr relationship. I agree with pocket. If you want to take it further need to facilitate it by being at yours or his and then seeing where it goes. If you don't want to DTD then don't have to but should you want to then the opportunity there if you see what I mean?

Needs to be at yours pace. But as saviour said crucial thing is do you fancy him?

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