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Ex introducing new girlfriend

(12 Posts)
GinismyTonic Thu 20-Aug-15 10:54:19

This is really just a rant to get it off my chest before I send him an inappropriate text.

He has just arrived on my doorstep to pick DD (5) up and all of a sudden he goes outside and is talking to someone. I ask him who it is and he says I'll tell you later. I ask if it's a girlfriend and he says sort of... Then he announces to DD that they have to take her home later and would he like to meet Aunty whatever her name is.

FFS - it's not that I have problems with him having a girlfriend - she's welcome to him frankly. It would just have been nice to have known what he was planning rather than him rock up on my doorstep with her in tow. It will be me that has to deal with everything as per normal whilst he just goes about his merry little way trying to make his life as easy as possible.

I feel for the poor girl really. She was abandoned on the doorstep at the ex marital home. How awkward for her. She obviously hasn't been exposed to his emotional stuntedness (sorry - that's appalling grammar) yet. Mind you it took me 10 years to get to the bottom of it.

I could go on but I would likely get more and more vitriolic and that will just make me seem bitter. Actually I'm not - I've moved on totally but I always put DD first whilst he always put himself first and I can't understand how for all those years I put up with it.

Ok, I'm not going to send him a text, I will rise above it but I really would like to shake him and ask him what the fuck he thinks he's doing to our beautiful daughter.

If I can just finish by saying he's a selfish bastard. angry

Lweji Thu 20-Aug-15 10:57:51

What if he had showed up with a new male mate?

GinismyTonic Thu 20-Aug-15 11:00:24

Good point. I am overreacting aren't I.

It's more the fact that he then introduces her as Aunty - i think that is what has really put my back up.

CalleighDoodle Thu 20-Aug-15 11:04:53

The aunty bit would annoy me too. I have never seen a need for calling all sorts of random friends aunty

CalleighDoodle Thu 20-Aug-15 11:06:27

And off topic completely! Whenever theres a story on take a break or other such mag that says 'everyone knew him as uncle john' always end up with him being a paedophile. It is like a way to give a loving caring position to someone who isnt family whether it is deserved or not.

Lweji Thu 20-Aug-15 14:32:24

The aunty is silly, yes, but children meet all sorts of people in their every day lives. And they tend to be more matter of fact than us. smile

ThisIsFolkGirl Thu 20-Aug-15 15:15:02

I'd have an issue with him bringing a new gf to your home too, tbh.

Summerlovinf Thu 20-Aug-15 16:09:04

Try not to let it get to you. You're not with him any more. The 'aunty' thing is a bit twee.

GinismyTonic Thu 20-Aug-15 16:11:59

I actually felt sorry for the poor girl.
She loitered on the driveway. I wasn't going to invite her in as the house was a tip!

I think it's actually really the Aunty bit and the fact he hadn't even told me he was seeing anyone. It's quite a shock to have this dumped on your doorstep first thing. We have been civil about things generally which is why I was a bit shocked. Although he has proved he can be secretive as he hid his dirty little secrets from me for 18 months when we were together.

Ah well, what's done is done and I'm over it now I think. I've spent the day stewing and now I need to shift into gear and get off the sofa.

You are certainly right Lweji, it's an issue for me and not for DD at this stage.

Thanks for your responses. It can be ridiculously hard to be logical sometimes. flowers

Summerlovinf Thu 20-Aug-15 16:24:13

Don't feel you have to invite your ex or his friends into your house. A friendly wave, smile, hello is more than enough. Keep them've moved on now :-)

Smilingforth Fri 21-Aug-15 07:30:52

I agree with summerlovin - just smoke but mjnimise contact with her .

AshCull Fri 26-Feb-16 23:16:41

Hi...completely understand your point of view.

Similarly, I found out (by pure chance) on the doorstep today that my ex has moved in with his girlfriend (who I had no prior knowledge of) and was picking my son up to spend the night at this unknown location.

I have moved on myself, and I don't care about his love life. Until the point another woman is being introduced to my son. I have never and would never introduce a man into my son's life without having that conversation with the other parent first.

It is called common courtesy and you have every right to be fuming to find out in such a way.

Luckily, my son was in his room. So I said he could not go until I had been introduced to this person and he was none the wiser (he is three).

My ex is also utterly thoughtless and selfish...luckily I only put up with for five years.

Unfortunately, a text message will probably get you no where.

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