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How do you deal with a jealous friend?

(6 Posts)
sunshinecup Mon 17-Aug-15 14:27:37

I would say she was jealous anyway.

I have just entered a relationship and she keeps saying how I am going to leave her now, and that I won't ever see her. I have told her this won't be the case but she keeps making sly digs and comments about it, so much to the point that I actually do not want to see her now! Our other friend has also entered a new relationship at the same time and the girl I am posting about doesn't seem too happy for her either. She emailed me earlier saying she will soon have no friends as nobody will want to see her.

It's doing my head in. Nobody has stopped seeing her and if it was the other way round then I'd be so happy she found a partner.

It's all very childish and immature. We are 25. She has taken a disliking to my boyfriend too for some unknown reason. We spoke about getting a flat together in the new year (which I don't wish to do anymore) and she said it's a good job I don't because she wouldn't want anybody she disliked there aka him.

Argh. How do I deal with this behavior? I feel like cutting her off altogether as I have explained time and time again that she has nothing to 'worry' about.

hellsbellsmelons Mon 17-Aug-15 14:33:30

I would just tell her.
'I love you and enjoy having you as a friend. However, I can't continue to be friends with you if you keep on putting down my relationship. I love my partner and don't appreciate your comments. If roles were reversed I would be so happy for you and I certainly wouldn't be saying the things you do. We either hang out as friends without the mention of the OH if you don't like him or we don't hang out at all. You decide' [with Big brother accent]

LuckyBitches Mon 17-Aug-15 14:59:04

Hmmm, tricky. Of course it's upsetting when your friends pair off, but she has to be a grown-up about it. I would echo what hells has said, and if she doesn't at least try and change her attitude.... eject! I don't want to be friends with someone who won't even try and be happy for me.

shovetheholly Mon 17-Aug-15 15:22:22

Hang on a second - is she your flatmate as well as your friend?

Look at it from her perspective. You've been single, the three of you together - now two of you are suddenly paired off. She's probably feeling a bit left out and wondering when something might happen for her. If she's your flatmate too, and you've been considering moving out, this means a lot of upheaval for her in terms of finding new people to live with. I can see why she'd be feeling a bit low. (I highly doubt there are many women who wouldn't feel just a little bit of self-pity in those circumstances. I'm sure she is happy for you at one level and a bit apprehensive for herself on another).

That doesn't make her behaviour and constant jibes OK. It just makes them understandable. I would sit down and have a chat with her - let her know how important she is, that things might change a bit with a new guy in your life, but that she'll never stop being an important friend.

BoredAdminGirl Mon 17-Aug-15 16:58:41

We spoke about getting a flat together in the new year (which I don't wish to do anymore) and she said it's a good job I don't because she wouldn't want anybody she disliked there aka him

They spoke about getting a flat together but they aren't actually living together.

OP I am sorry to break this to you but this person is not a genuine friend. Genuine friends want to see you happy.

This is the kind of friend who would apply for the same job as you, no doubt she will try and cause problems for you and your BF,

Ditch, ditch ditch

*Been there

Smilingforth Mon 17-Aug-15 19:07:43

Hellsbells advice is good!

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