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rant ......

(10 Posts)
zizilee Mon 17-Aug-15 14:06:11

Need a rant, ex left by text 4 yrs ago after 12 years of marriage leaving me with 3 dcs, divorced after a long wrangle ended up financially worse off but relieved to be rid, during the break up he used to sit outside the house with his car engine running apparently "using the wifi" until warned off by police...... he has dated numerous women on and off which is fine by me but insisted the 2 younger children meet every one of them.
I changed jobs and now work over an hour away he moved 20 miles to the east to be nearer his work I work in the west...... the 2 youngest are fantastic and get up each morning at 0615 but are therefore tired at school.....I suggested I move nearer my work as I am the prime carer to which he slapped a court order on me (blatantly lying to the court that I was going to stop access something I have never done and would never do) to stay in the county I am in which is now hopefully to be lifted soon.
Meanwhile ex hooked up with no8 gf 7 months ago....everytime she has seen me she gives me abuse in front of the children which has resulted in all handovers being done by me to the childrens nanny (who is fantastic).
Now I get told he is buying a house with her £550000 detached mansion (I live in rented ) and ps he lied during the divorce how much he earns per week claiming then it was approx. £3000 per week when it now has risen to approx. £7500 per week but as new gf has 2 children is trying to reduce the maintenance .
My middle child doesn't want to visit anymore as doesn't like the gf or the gfs children and my youngest is scared of his father who shouts at him or calls him an idiot.
Ex wants to change all xmas arrangements as new gf has different ones so now have to go to court on that too ! (not on legal aid so costs me a fortune!)
Sorry about the rant deep breath ..................

ARV1981 Mon 17-Aug-15 14:35:10

He sounds horrible.

Not sure what you should do... but bumping!

pocketsaviour Mon 17-Aug-15 14:38:43

Well he sounds a charmer. Bet you're glad to be rid.

How old are your children?

zizilee Mon 17-Aug-15 14:57:48

eldest is 20 has nothing to do with ex or gf, younger 2 are 10 and 8. Happy to have got rid though have had on average 2 solicitors letters a week since the day he left ........ He doesn't like to lose control ......

amarmai Mon 17-Aug-15 15:36:59

can the maintenance not be revisited in light of the financial evidence? As long as you are being forced to deal with legal matters, go on the offensive and get a better deal.

zizilee Mon 17-Aug-15 16:05:23

Wish it could...CMS only cover up to £3,000 per week and whilst in England I would have an easy time getting a "top up" in Scotland it is much harder to get one ! Am on the offensive about everything at the moment and saying no and "daring" to disagree which only makes him angrier.
Dc are very happy when with me but not happy when on access with their father as he tends to leave them with nanny/grandmother or anyone convenient and spends no time alone with them....

amarmai Mon 17-Aug-15 18:38:54

sounds like you have a lot of ammunition to defend your side in court. Hope everything works out in your favour,op.

Smilingforth Mon 17-Aug-15 18:57:46

See a solicitor. If you can prove he has lied then you should both be able to regain control and also receive higher maintenance.

zizilee Tue 18-Aug-15 08:41:11

Solicitor been on the case since day one unfortunately Scotland courts are not known for giving top ups easily !

Dowser Tue 18-Aug-15 12:46:38

Can you represent yourself in court. My friend did that to keep her costs down.

HEr ex was the typical arsewipe . Wouldn't get things in on time. Didn't turn up for appearances etc. she found the court system very helpful when she went to represent herself.

Maybe the CAB might be a good place to start.

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