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I left my DP, and it was absolutely, unequivocally the right thing to do.

(5 Posts)
triathlongirrl Sun 16-Aug-15 01:32:46

I spent years looking on these boards, randomly posting (different username) about my dysfunctional relationship.

No violence, no bullying, no real reason to ever leave - just two people who should never have really got together, much less started a family together. Two people who grew apart and ended up disliking eachother and deeply unhappy with the situation.

Years of counselling, and me telling myself 'it's not all that bad', etc.

Well, last November it came to a head, and I found the strength to leave. I wasn't even sure it was the right decision, but I suddenly felt there were more reasons to leave than to stay, that I didn't want to feel the way I did for the rest of my life, that he deserved to be happy and I did, too.

So I left. We're sharing our two DC amicably enough. He's still unhappy I left, but didn't actually fall apart as I feared he might. He's coping. The DC have adjusted. They might be hiding things I can't see, but generally seem cheerful and unquestioning, rather than emotionally damaged and scarred as I thought they might be.

And now, I've met someone else. That someone makes my heart beat faster, pumps blood through my veins as it never has before, in a way my exDP never did. The situation is certainly not straightforward and easy, but I don't care: I look in his eyes and I am lost in them. I think I might even be in love. Not that I've told him that, obviously.

I apologise if this comes across as a sickening, self-indulgent post. I suppose in many ways it is. I'm not a regular poster at all. But I think of all the years I frequented these boards to look for an answer, and the years of denial, trying to fix things.

I stepped into the abyss, and believed in my own strength, found courage and support from friends when I lacked it myself, and there's not a day I've regretted my decision.

So I guess this post is written for people like me, this time last year. People who know which way they should go, but aren't quite brave enough yet. Well, you will be, one day.

And you'll never look back.


BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Sun 16-Aug-15 02:18:25

A positive signpost sweetheart, nothing negative there.

You were moved to post and it makes for a touching read.

I hope things continue well for you flowers

Rubygoose Sun 16-Aug-15 02:27:33

Congratulations on getting out of a toxic relationship. From personal experience I think they are very hard, I was in a similar situation with a man I should never have gotten together with, luckily we had no DC, must've been extra hard to make that break with children. Well done and congrats on meeting someone who sounds great for you. I also did the same 6 months after leaving my emotional vampire of an ex, and my sweetheart and I were married less than a year later, 6 years this month and a beautiful DD. Never been happier. I dread to think how different my life could have been if I'd stayed living in misery. Well done and good luck for the future x

goddessofsmallthings Sun 16-Aug-15 02:44:13

To those who felt the fear and did it anyway flowers and a congratulatory toast to all of you: Freedom rocks wine

daisyJ123 Sun 16-Aug-15 20:57:57

Lovely post to read, Triathlon.
You sound like a very strong, smart lady.

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