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Adult men who live with their fathers

(15 Posts)
bridie69 Sat 15-Aug-15 18:03:04

Just curious. There is and I guess always has been a stigma against adult men who live with their mothers..it seems much rarer to encounter men who live with their fathers. I guess this is because there are more widows than widowers. I recently encountered a perfectly well adjusted guy early 30s who lives with his Dad. They apparently get on well the Mum is dead and the son likes to live there. Must save a packet too as he lets out his own place. They are old style London guys and refuse to leave the north London council estate where they grew up, socialise together etc. I find it kind of sweet..like steptoe and son but more hygienic..So less stigma against men living with Dads?

Lightbulbon Sat 15-Aug-15 18:09:03

With the house price crisis all kinds of multi generational households will become more common.

I wouldn't recommend it though. My df was 30 and lived with his parents when he got married. His later divorce wasn't entirely unconnected to his never having lived independently in my opinion.

goddessofsmallthings Sat 15-Aug-15 18:18:38

Poor Harold. He tried so hard to break free of the millstone round his neck attain his aspirations. The ballroom dancing episode has to be one of the funniest tv sitcoms to grace the Beeb.

So, where do your 'old style London guys' keep Hercules their horse and cart? grin

RoseandValerie Sat 15-Aug-15 18:25:11

My son, aged 30, lives with his Dad.
He can't get a mortgage, doesn't earn enough, he rented for years but needs to save for a deposit. Him and his Dad get on great and love each other.
I don't see any problem? But he is my son and I think he's wonderful. He really is. He is also currently single and lives in Essex. So if any single women want to pm me......

GrammerPedent Sat 15-Aug-15 18:32:48

It really depends on how it works...

I ended a relationship with a guy who had been living with his dad for seven years (having gone to uni, lived abroad and then gone back home). It transpired that apart from cooking the odd meal he didn't do much to help around the house. His dad went away for a week and ex-bf said to me that he was having such a busy week because of having to do the chores while his dad was away. I said 'what sort of chores?' and his response was 'putting the bins out'. Hopeless!

The thing that really set alarm bells ringing was that we went on a date in town and on returning to our local station which was just over a mile from where he lived, he phoned his dad to come and pick him up. It was after midnight. I couldn't believe it! I was getting on my bike to cycle three miles and he was phoning daddy to come and pick him up when he could easily have walked along the perfectly good pavement.

I've always been quite independent and capable and I felt that this particular guy was a wuss, and a big part of that was down to the fact he was being looked after by his father.

Having said that I'm sure there are plenty of good, grown-up guys living with parents who actually contribute to the household in terms of finances, cleaning, etc. and who don't turn into wet blankets because everything is on a plate for them.

Sorry... that was long! Rant over!

sanityforlunch Sat 15-Aug-15 19:09:44

Yes I had a brief relationship with a man who lived with his parents. He used to get his dad to drop him off at the pub/pick him up.

He was 53 (the guy, not the dad.)

Sad but true.

MadMum2015 Sat 15-Aug-15 19:27:47

My perfectly normal ndns are a 70 yr old dad and 35 yr old son. They get on great, I cannot think why the young man would move out to pay rent and live in a tiny flat / bedsit when he has a nice home in a suburban semi. In fact, this thread is the first time I've given it any thought.

Am now wondering whether I would have thought about it all if he lived with his mum. Um....no, house prices and rents still just as pants. ��

thehypocritesoaf Sat 15-Aug-15 20:03:49

Frasier managed it rather well smile

Hellionandfriends Sat 15-Aug-15 20:07:36

Sometimes it's the Dad living with the son rather then the son living with the dad.

ethelb Sat 15-Aug-15 20:07:47

Goddessofsmallthings there is a bloke round here who goes round with a horse and trap collecting scrap metal! We are on the edge of the east end.
Honestly, if someone had said he was an old style weegie people wouldnt have scoffed!
Anyway, back to the OP. Could you think if Fraser? He lived with his Dad! My uncles lived with there dad after his divorce in their 20s/early 30s, though did admittedly move out before getting married. They had a tonne of post uni debt (us) and it worked for them at the time.

bridie69 Sat 15-Aug-15 21:18:44

I never thought about frasier but yes..but perhaps a cross between Steptoe and son and The trotters in only fools and horses with their grandad and uncle would be more accurate. Apparently the Dad reckons he's gone to the same pub every Friday night since 1980!! Not sure I quite believe that claim but I admire the "settledness"

Smilingforth Sat 15-Aug-15 23:03:55

If they are happy then it's great.

Smilingforth Sat 15-Aug-15 23:10:38

And what's more it sounds like it Should work.. Family taking to family

ScorpioMermaid Sun 16-Aug-15 03:55:47

My uncle lives in the house he and his siblings (he is my mums brother) were all born and raised in. he is the youngest of 7. my grandma died when he was about 35 leaving just him and grandad who was in his mid 70s by then. Grandads mental health rapidly deteriorated after grandmas death and my uncle remained his carer, along with my mum, (mum did days with grandad, uncle did nights when he finished work) until his death around 10 years later. It was not a nice time for him and I don't know if he would have moved out or not had grandad not needed the Care but I think they both enjoyed each others company and it made grandads last year's, very happy. obviously he was left alone in the house he grew up in so has just stayed. hes been on his own there for 10 years now and is very lonely.

ScorpioMermaid Sun 16-Aug-15 03:57:03

and speaking of steptoe and son, that's what we used to call them both as they were a right scruffy pair together grin grin

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