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First date faux pas

(29 Posts)
Snowfire Sat 15-Aug-15 10:18:26

Last night I went on my first date in over five years. It was with a man I met online and have been exchanging messages with for a while, he has no idea I've been out of the dating scene for so long.
He was quite lovely and charming all evening and I'm afraid I was so nervous I might have babbled at him, leaving him thinking I was a total nut!
To make matters worse, as we were saying goodbye, I asked if he would like to see me again, he's said he would text me hasn't as yet.
I feel like a total fool, should I text him and come clean about how nervous I was or should I just put it down to experience?

DrSethHazlittMD Sat 15-Aug-15 10:23:01

Whoa. Calm down. It's 10am and you're worried because he hasn't texted you yet when you only met him last night!

He may text you later. If he does, great.

He may not text you later. In which case, you know he wasn't right for you and you move on to the next date.

midnightvelvetPart2 Sat 15-Aug-15 10:29:17

You're overthinking it OP, relax about it a little smile if he texted you now then he risks coming across as desperate.

If he contacts you again then explain you were flustered, if he doesn't then just leave it brew stop dwelling on the negatives, be kind to yourself x

spudlike1 Sat 15-Aug-15 11:05:09

It was your first date ..view it as a practice run ..he will txt. you or he won't... end .
He will have recognised that you were nervous and seen through that, but don't over think.
Go on three more dates with other men just to practice, calm the nerves .
Its a very strange game try not to take it all too seriously.

Joysmum Sat 15-Aug-15 11:18:33

First dates are like interviews for jobs that aren't your dream job, practice and a learning experience to help you nail the right one!

Snowfire Sat 15-Aug-15 12:45:01

You're all right, I have calmed myself down a little and feeling a little more relaxed about it. I did feel like it was an interview and to be honest I don't think I would have given me the job! It didn't help that I had a mega fraught day and was running late so had no time to get ready.
I will put it down to experience, arrange a couple more dates (had several others I had been stalling as I thought I really liked this guy) and if I hear from him, I may arrange to see him again. Otherwise, I had a free dinner (I did offer to go Dutch), a bit of practice and have lost nothing!

HPsauciness Sat 15-Aug-15 12:50:13

That's a great attitude, I would date more than one person at this stage, and see how it goes.

MadeMan Sat 15-Aug-15 12:50:31

"...leaving him thinking I was a total nut!"

He might like slightly mad women; nobody wants boring. smile

DarkNavyBlue Sat 15-Aug-15 15:04:39

I would take 'I'll text you' rather than a 'yes' as a no. But also agree with everyone else that you should just treat this this date (and any others that go badly grin) as a practice run. Onwards!

sanityforlunch Sat 15-Aug-15 15:12:57

'I'll text you' is very non-committal so I would take that as a no. Also it is dating etiquette to text someone straight away telling them you enjoyed meeting them, even if you don't actually want to see them again.

Might be wrong in this case but get back out there anyway.

PoppyShakespeare Sat 15-Aug-15 15:18:28

If it is dating etiquette to text someone straight away then why shouldn't OP do it now?

ChilliAndMint Sat 15-Aug-15 15:22:26

I'm sorry but if he was keen he would have let you know by now.
I would leave the ball in his was he who said he would contact you.

Dating is a bloody minefield and you really can't get the measure of someone after one date.

Can I suggest doing what I do ,and that is to meet them for a maximum one hour for the initial date. It takes the pressure off both parties and makes for a more comfortable meeting.

If I had to spend hours in the company of a stranger I think I would be tying myself up in knots.

PoppyShakespeare Sat 15-Aug-15 15:24:30

I agree that if one party is keen they let the other know, so if you want to meet again you should say so. If he doesn't respond there are literally billions of other people in the world so try to meet some of those?

niceupthedance Sat 15-Aug-15 16:41:23

Also if you ask someone if they want to meet again and they say "yeah sure" = no

wickedwaterwitch Sat 15-Aug-15 16:44:37

If a man wants to call you he will call you.

So I think he's just not that into you. Sorry.

JeanSeberg Sat 15-Aug-15 16:47:40

There's no reason why the op can't send a text saying thanks for a nice evening and see if he replies.

Lweji Sat 15-Aug-15 16:48:39

Out of curiosity, did you feel interviewed only or did you interview him as well?

I'd have expected something more than "I'll text you" if he wanted to see you and after exchanging messages for a while.
But, fingers crossed. smile

JeanSeberg Sat 15-Aug-15 17:13:03

Perhaps he felt put on the spot and wanted time to think about his answer. Nothing wrong with that.

DoreenLethal Sat 15-Aug-15 17:18:34

Sorry, what was the faux pas?

Coconutty Sat 15-Aug-15 17:26:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoppyShakespeare Sat 15-Aug-15 17:28:21

I don't understand the logic of 'if the other person wants to see you they will call/text you first' how does anyone ever make the call/send the text in those circumstances? Nobody would ever get a 2nd or 3rd date!

Lweji Sat 15-Aug-15 17:31:11

The op asked the question and he said he'd text her. That is why she is waiting for him to contact her.

PoppyShakespeare Sat 15-Aug-15 17:33:00

oh right

well life is short, I'd text anyway while lining up some more possibles

MyPelvicFloorTrainsItself Mon 17-Aug-15 08:36:40

Any news OP?

Happytuesdays99 Mon 17-Aug-15 09:34:55

I wouldn't text him. If he wants to see you again he will do the running. I would actually take his answer as a no though.

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