hi guys... first post in relationships. Me and DP have been together for over 4yrs, "we" have two DC's (he came along when DS was a baby we have a DD together, I will NEVER take him from DS despite his parentage)
I've known him for 10yrs though, if this is relevant.
DP is depressed. badly. always has been, which has sometimes led to nasty treatment to myself (Not abusive as such although could be termed as EA, cold and disinterested non affectionate behavior, no real sex life in 2.5yrs)... I'm feeling numb to him now. if i had to describe it it'd be like depression but sort of aimed at him. I love him so much i really do I've not doubted that for a single second but between his unfair treatment of me (Which stops when pointed out a few times) my own body insecurities (caused by having 2 young dc's and his disinterest) and so many things I do know I blame him for :( we've talked and talk and i just can't find a way forward with it. we're financially wellish off but not millionaires, we're in the process of buying house etc. We've also had a problem with cam chat websites where he was accessing them yet actively refusing sex with me...dd was under 6months old at this point. he denies talking to these women (its a site specifically for this) we have no webcam so its not like he would've cammed but i think he did IM these women. otherwise he would've just gone on a bog standard porn site rather than a site for chatting. its like going to jimmy choo for socks! pointless at best...
anyhow.. all of this plus his general disinterest, staying in bed not getting dressed some days and just vegging out in front of a video game or film while i keep on top of housework, work full time and look after 2 dc's (he works full time but can drop shifts at an hours notice) to be fair hes not done this for a few weeks now and only does it for a day or so at a time but when he does he's bloody useless, i feel so bad saying this as i know its the depression. he is receiving medical help at the moment. just... ugh. i'm dreadfully, dreadfully unhappy here :( :( But I love him so much. btw not sure if i put this in we've talked about all of this- he knows this. he knows what hes done and he feels awful and i truly believe that but neither of us can find a way forward and tbh with you guys i dont even know if i want to :(
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Need advice :(
12 replies
YUDOTHIS · 13/08/2015 08:09
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