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BF busted !!

(25 Posts)
moonie70 Wed 12-Aug-15 18:49:18

Hi , advice please , what would you do ?
So on Monday night I was trying to get football up on my android box which was given to me by my bf , when I realised it had an app for his Facebook account so I clicked on to it , wrong of me I know but curiosity got the better of me and in his message's was him asking one of his female friends , what time her keep fit class was , what should he wear and her reply was oh we work up a sweat you will enjoy it , look forward to seeing you there , what ensued was banter over a couple of days , like why didn't you turn up , he replied he was at the beach that day , she said where was my invite , the one thing that's upset me is he said something about supplying coffee and a massage !!! I was shocked , so I txt him and he said oh it's banter I wasn't being serious about going , she's a friend who taught his girls dance and she's not even fanciable , I told him to get lost as I have had months of constant question about any male friends I've had on FB and I've even deleted them to keep the peace .
What a hypocrite , I've had umpteen texts saying if that was flirting I'll bare my arse in tesco , your over reacting ,
Please help me understand if this was acceptable as he's making me feel like I'm being in his words a dick .

magoria Wed 12-Aug-15 18:55:32

People expect you to behave the way they do and to have the same morals/standards.

A liar expects you to lie.

A thief expects you to steal from them.

A cheating skank patrols your FB and makes you delete mates because he thinks you will be doing what he actually is.

There is no excuse for his actions.

It was not fine for you to have male friends but it is OK for him to have female friends he has this 'banter' with. As for the she is unfanciable - bollocks many cheats try to use that one, it is a basic part of their script.

Even if he never meant to do anything the hypocritical double standards are unacceptable.

You have not over reacted. If you go back now I bet there will be a next time.

Get back with your friends on FB and explain you were silly and deleted them because of a controlling dick and are sorry.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven Wed 12-Aug-15 18:57:39

I'd say he's the 1 rule for him, another for you type of prick man. Bin him. And get rid of Facebook. Solve many problems with one fell swoop grin

goddessofsmallthings Wed 12-Aug-15 22:17:10

I've had umpteen texts saying if that was flirting I'll bare my arse in tesco

Text back saying you look forward to reading about his arrest for indecent exposure - and add the usual 'our relationship isn't working for me - consider yourself dumped and I'll consider myself free to flirt with any man I want grin

Realitea Wed 12-Aug-15 22:28:35

He's obviously overstepped the mark with that one. He is the dick not you. He knows this, he's just trying to protect his soon to be exposed arse

onemorerose Thu 13-Aug-15 00:26:53

Yes agree with magoria, he's pushing his own failings on to you. Beware if the reason he makes you delete fb friends. That seems like flirting to me.

Bogeyface Thu 13-Aug-15 00:34:00

"You will bare your arse in Tesco? Well given that I know you are a cheating liar, my I suggest you dont do it in the freezer aisle, so your dick doesnt look even smaller? You are dumped smile"

Offred Thu 13-Aug-15 07:57:37

What a weird thing to say! confused

Yes, he knows he doesn't want you doing what he is doing which is why he was trying to police your FB. That means he thinks he has higher status than you because he thinks it's fine for him to do it but not for you.

moonie70 Thu 13-Aug-15 08:19:29

Thanks for the advice guys x

Glitteryarse Thu 13-Aug-15 08:25:52

magoria has it spot on.

When was the last time you offered a male friend a massage?

moonie70 Thu 13-Aug-15 15:02:32

No never offered anyone of my male friends a massage though the constant questioning I got about friends of the male Variety , I might of well of done , still no apology from him just oh your being silly , I can not see why you would think I'd done something wrong , she was going through a bad time with her husband and needed cheering up �� I'm sorry but I did laugh at that bit what a joke .
He makes my life hell for the 6 months I've known him I can not even go online with out him asking me why I'd not messages him as he could see if been on whatsapp and Facebook , sulking when I don't txt morning or goodnight and all the time he is flirting with his daughters dance teacher , I needed reassurance about ending it but after speaking to friends and advice on here I know it's best to end it , I've been more unhappy that happy .
I'll chalk this one up to another bad experience , pull on my big girl panties and move on ...we all deserve to be happy don't we ...

GoogleBoggle Thu 13-Aug-15 15:18:36

Doesn't actually sound that bad to me - just a bit of silly comments that are kind of vaguely flirty but don't actually matter.

But if you go digging you'll find dirt, and your triumphalist title on this post makes me think you're quite glad to have something to dump him for.

Bogeyface Thu 13-Aug-15 15:25:11

your triumphalist title on this post makes me think you're quite glad to have something to dump him for.

So him being controlling, insisting she get rid of friends, snooping on her online and making her "more unhappy than happy" and making her "life hell for the 6 months I have known him" isnt enough then?

Offred Thu 13-Aug-15 15:40:47

Doesn't actually sound that bad to me - just a bit of silly comments that are kind of vaguely flirty but don't actually matter.

Guilty conscience?

PresidentTwonk Thu 13-Aug-15 15:47:47

What a wanker, you're better off out of it.

GoogleBoggle Thu 13-Aug-15 16:10:01

Haha Offred no - but she went digging for a reason (people always say 'I don't know why I snooped' - yeah right) and found dirt. Nothing he said was particularly relationship ending, but she gets straight on Mumsnet with the whole 'busted!' thing. He doesn't sound nice really so those are valid reasons to leave him, just not really the stupid messages in themselves.

moonie70 Thu 13-Aug-15 16:15:28

Not happy to have found him out Jesus who would want to come across your bf offering another woman a massage , just had a belly full of his insecurities and making me feel bad when I haven't done anything wrong . So just had another look on his FB I know i shouldn't baring in mind he knows I have access and he's replied to a girl that said hi to him in June with a hello gorgeous , not sure if he's playing games now as he knows I can see it . I've had missed calls all the while saying I'm over reacting yet , I had to stop seeing a male friend I've had for 4 years cause he wasn't comfortable with it , god what a hypocrite , about from one comment the rest of you guys seem to get where I'm coming from , he is EA as he lies also about a medical condition and saying he was rushed in hospital when in fact he drove to an appt , also that an x gf had whatsapped him and wanted him back this I know to be a lie as the said x is in a new relationship , if he can lie over stuff like this then what is he capable of ...

magoria Thu 13-Aug-15 18:35:37

6 months and he is controlling your life making you drop friends to keep him.

He also doesn't understand why you are over reacting but he has got you to the stage where you dump innocent friends without and of the 'vague flirting'.

Get rid.

Don't make it a whole year wasted.

KetchupIsNearlyAVegetable Thu 13-Aug-15 22:08:01

Next time don't drop a friend of 4yrs for a boyfriend. How long had you been in the relationship then if even now it is only 6months? What were you thinking? Next time delete the BF not the mate.

goddessofsmallthings Thu 13-Aug-15 22:23:14

Why have you allowed him to make your life 'hell' for 6 months?

When he did he tell you to give up a friendship of 4 years merely because the friend in question is male and why didn't you bin him then?

AnyFucker Thu 13-Aug-15 22:27:01

why don't you just get rid of him ?

DarkNavyBlue Thu 13-Aug-15 22:37:34

Hell for 6 months? The first 6 months of a relationship is 'hell' and you're still with him?

Smilingforth Fri 14-Aug-15 08:20:44

Wow - you sound very unhappy and I struggle to see how in these circumstances you can change anything. Time to think very hard about leaving

moonie70 Fri 14-Aug-15 10:15:02

This is what I get , wow such a wake up call if she had been fanciable would he have gone there , talk about digging himself a grave ��

magoria Fri 14-Aug-15 10:51:07

Name calling and insults.

You have done the right thing.

Block him and stop engaging.

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