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Does he want more than friendship ?

(45 Posts)
Louisa2412xx Wed 12-Aug-15 16:31:44

There is a man who I am friends with.
I think we are friends.We become close then he backs away and it's driving me insane.
Last week he came to my house at 2pm and we had food and watched DVDs and had a couple of drinks.
We get on so well,we were lay on the sofa just talking and he said the day you meet someone I will be devastated.
He started saying that I need someone special and i was joking asking if he had any single friends to which he replied "yes but your not having them"
We literally laughed all night,I know it sounds childish but he kept hitting me with cushions,it was just a fun day.
He asked to stay so I said yes,we shared a bed and he put his arm around me and we just talked for hours.
He kept kissing my forehead and staring at me,then we kissed it was really nice.
He Kept holding my hand and kissing it,he asked did I love him and I said no ( I do have feelings and I don't know what they are )
Then he mumbled I love you.
Then he started crying saying I wish this wasn't so complicated ( not sure what is )
He was saying how unhappy he is and he had a great day with me.
Then we fell asleep and I woke up next morning and he had his arm around me cuddling me.
Since then we have exchanged a few texts and that's it.
About 4 months ago we were talking on the phone and he said I always think what it would be like if we were together then the day after he deleted me off Facebook ???
I questioned him about it and he said " I need to get you out of my head"
Now he has a 2 year old daughter with his ex ( I'm starting to think is it really his ex gf is that's what's stopping him )
Is he confused? What is his game?
I'm a 30 year old and feel like a teenager!

Finola1step Wed 12-Aug-15 16:33:25

How old is he?

Louisa2412xx Wed 12-Aug-15 16:35:36


Snowberry86 Wed 12-Aug-15 16:38:26

He is married or in a relationship.

Louisa2412xx Wed 12-Aug-15 16:39:49

That's what I thought.
Why do all of that if he was with someone tho.

MadeMan Wed 12-Aug-15 16:44:05

What would you like him to be for you? Are you happy being friends as you are, or do you want a relationship with him?

Saying he loves you and then crying, plus deleting you from Facebook; it all sounds a bit over the top. If someone was acting like this with me, I'd probably be pulling away from them by now until they sort themselves out.

MadeMan Wed 12-Aug-15 16:45:00

"it all sounds a bit over the top."

Melodramatic is the word I was looking for.

Louisa2412xx Wed 12-Aug-15 16:47:07

I have feelings for him but don't want to put myself out there and be let down or exposed.
He is hot and cold like you wouldn't believe.
He can text me constantly then weeks with nothing then text asking " have you met someone yet"
I'm thinking is he with someone and saying we are friends thing to stop him feeling guilty.

Higheredserf Wed 12-Aug-15 16:52:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Louisa2412xx Wed 12-Aug-15 16:54:33

Not sure whether next time he gets in touch to just ignore him because he cant just pick me up and drop me when he wants.

Louisa2412xx Wed 12-Aug-15 17:00:13

I have really started to fall for him :-(

MadeMan Wed 12-Aug-15 17:08:47

Might be an idea to confront him about what he's playing at and if you get a vague wishy-washy answer from him then you can start ignoring him.

" "I need to get you out of my head...the day you meet someone I will be devastated...have you met someone yet"..."

I really don't understand why he's saying all this; it's hardly heart melting stuff.

Louisa2412xx Wed 12-Aug-15 17:13:09

I don't get him at all.

Snowberry86 Wed 12-Aug-15 17:47:26

Just out him.

Ask him whether he wants to be with you- if the answer is no then cut contact and get over him.

You don't need him playing you and messing you about.

Jan45 Wed 12-Aug-15 17:50:48

I think he is still with the girlfriend.

Jan45 Wed 12-Aug-15 17:52:21

Stop letting him pick you up and drop you when he feels like it, all the signs are there that he's in a relationship already but even if he wasn't, he's not treating you right.

eddielizzard Wed 12-Aug-15 17:54:35

def not available. he's an arse - he wants to keep his options open in case his current relationship doesn't work out. he wants you on the back burner just in case.

you're better than this creep.

Louisa2412xx Wed 12-Aug-15 17:57:52

It's been going on for 2 years now.
We get on so well tho.
It's not often I just click with someone and we just so relaxed in each other's company.

Jan45 Wed 12-Aug-15 18:01:24

So you've allowed him to pick you up and drop you for two years now and say you get on so well, if you think that's okay then carry on.

Louisa2412xx Wed 12-Aug-15 18:10:24

We haven't hung out together till last week.
For the last two years we have just been texting and talking on the phone.
He's a friend of a friend.
It sounds stupid reading it back that I've let it go on for so long.
I think because we had such a good night together I thought things might of been different afterwards but we have fallen back to the same pattern.

ImperialBlether Wed 12-Aug-15 18:14:31

He's with someone. He flirts with the idea that life would be better with you but he hasn't got the gumption to go through with it. He wants you to stay single in case he ever gets the nerve to leave/in case she kicks him out.

That's my take on it, sorry.

Louisa2412xx Wed 12-Aug-15 18:15:51

That's exactly what my best friend said but a few swear words were included in her analysis!

Louisa2412xx Wed 12-Aug-15 18:16:18

*blether sorry

Duckdeamon Wed 12-Aug-15 18:19:08

He is definitely not a friend and if he was interested you as a girlfriend something would have happened by now.

Caprinihahahaha Wed 12-Aug-15 18:19:29

He sounds pretty pathetic tbh.

Weeping as if he is in some heartbreaking drama when he has no rational explanation for why you can't actually be together.

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