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Feel so guilty towards my parents

(7 Posts)
HaonDo Wed 12-Aug-15 13:12:46


DH and I moved to Aus almost 7years ago, DH is an Aussie, ds1 was 4 at the time (now 11) and ds2 was born here 2 years ago.
I have a great relationship with my parents, they gave us a great childhood and though they were sad to see us go they were happy for us and would never have made us feel guilty.
I've been home 3 times since moving here and they've been here 3 times.
Recently, on skype and messaging with dm, she keeps saying things like how lonely she was that day or when I send her pics/vids she'll say God I miss them so much. Sometimes she'll ring and I know she'll have just been crying. sad

I'm happy enough here, tbh is rather be at home but I know we wouldn't have as good a life. The boys and DH would rather be here, our jobs wouldn't make nearly as much.

I just feel so guilty that I'm causing them to be sad and that they're missing out on being in the boys lives, they're amazing grandparents.
DH's parents live 40 mins away and while we get on fine and they're mostly ok with the kids I find myself really resenting that they get to do 'grandparents day' etc. I'd never show it.
My dad has some medical issues, not life threatening but they couldn't move here.

I suppose I have no question really, it's just getting to me lately.

Any other expats out there?

goddessofsmallthings Wed 12-Aug-15 18:45:12

Do you have siblings who live near your dps and do they have dc?

If your dps are retired/pensioners can they not come and stay with you for 3 months or more every year? If they flew over at the end November and stayed until, say, mid-February the saving they'd make on heating their home in the UK would offset a good chunk of the airfare.

Your df could shop around for a good deal on travel insurance for the pair of them and as healthcare in Oz is generally superior to that of the UK he/you need have no fears should he, or your dm for that matter, require medical attention during the time they spend down under.

There's a lot of expats on mumsnet, many of whom feel exactly as you do, and hopefully one or more of them will see your thread and respond soon.

ImperialBlether Wed 12-Aug-15 18:52:42

Good idea. Also they don't have to pay council tax if they go away for three months.

lostinikea Wed 12-Aug-15 20:57:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 12-Aug-15 21:28:36

The thing though op. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You're getting on with your life, which you're more than entitled to do so. The fact is your parents have had their lives, and made their choices.
They should be pleased that you have flourished.

Smilingforth Thu 13-Aug-15 21:53:54

You have made your own choices for what sounds like very good reasons. You can only sensibly carry on with your life as it is.

Smilingforth Fri 14-Aug-15 08:17:44

Just rereading this and the idea for them to come for a period of time sounds a great one; you reconnect in your own areas in your terms

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