A WhatsApp question please

[nequidnimis]

I'm asking this for a lovely friend who discovered her DH's affair just over two months ago.

For reasons best known to herself she's forgiven him and they're moving on. Part of that is that she now has all of his passwords, access to his phone and so on.

Yesterday she found WhatsApp hidden on the second page of a folder on his iphone. He said it was a throwback to the affair, showed her that there were no 'chats' and deleted the app to reassure her.

She has now installed WhatsApp on her own phone and, as both her DH and OW are in her phone contacts, she can see their profiles.

Her DH was 'last seen' on Sunday night, and the OW seems to be on it a lot.

Her question really is what does the little counter mean next to their statuses. OW's says 74d (discovery day) and DHs says 32d (weekend she was away staying with family). Their statuses both say 'hey there, I'm on WhatsApp' which we think is the status given when you join.

It's a crying shame she's going through all this, and I'm sorry it's long, but can anyone shed any light?

We initially thought it was counting from when they opened their accounts, but she thinks her DH has had it for years.on.

[TeddyBear5]

Just looked at mine... It's the last time they changed their status. The 'hey there! I'm ising what's app' bit is your status, you can change it to read anything.

Nothing significant if you ask me.

[Minime85]

I've just tried to work it out but sorry I'm not sure what it means. Unless it's how long they have been in your contacts for?

[Heffalumps]

Hi
The status is the one automatically assigned by wattsapp
In terms of the days-the counter indicates how long the profile has been active for-in that state. I have deleted wattsapp from my phone & reinstalled it the next day and the counter started back to day 1 etc..even though I have had it on my number for over a year
Hope that makes sense/helps

[honeycrest]

I think it's counting from when the status was changed. Someone in my contacts changes her status regularly and the timer starts again. If you deleted and reinstalled the app then it would reset too.

Obviously if her DH was last active on Sunday, he is still using it. If I were her I would keep quiet about the fact that I can see their profiles and keep an eye on it, making a note of when he is active.

[nequidnimis]

Thanks so much everyone, I couldn't help because I don't have it myself.

It doesn't sound too sinister then, although I do wonder whether her DH deleted it post-affair and reinstalled it during the weekend she was away.

I'll tell her to keep quiet and keep a sneaky eye on them. Bloody awful that she should be living with this level of suspicion but there you go.

[LucySnow12]

www.whatsapp.com/faq/en/iphone

You can find more info on their website with this link. I hope your friend's husband proves worthy of her.

[Jenna333]

I've found knowing guys on Whatsapp a bit of a nightmare. It's very tempting to see when they were on last and so I've stopped looking now. I think her checking will be really hard on her but I can understand why she's doing it. She won't necessarily know who he's messaging on it though?

[tribpot]

It doesn't sound too sinister then

Really? An app that he uninstalled because he had been using it with his mistress, and which he has quite clearly reinstalled without telling her?

If they're really moving forward with the relationship, why can't she just ask him why he appeared to have been online?

[Whatsforsupper]

Em, days and hours next too status is how long the app have being installed and active. You're interpretation that 73 days equals 'discovery day' is wrong its a standard setting.

In terms of him suggesting he the app was hidden in a profile is a lie its either installed or uninstalled.

[Findtheoldme]

My husbands says 17 days which is when I added him.

[Whatsforsupper]

In other words 32d is when her husband Last installed whats app. Yes,
"Hi, I am using whats app' is a standard setting, that can also be changed.

[Findtheoldme]

I've just looked at my daughters and friends day total and I would say it is status changed/day joined if keeping standard status.

[Whatsforsupper]

You don't have too add anyone in whats app.

Once you down load the app you allow it permission to look through your contacts it then adds all those you who also have the app downloaded.

[Findtheoldme]

My first message to him then, Whatsforsupper.

[LittleLionHeart]

So she discovered it and on the same day he installed whatsapp in a folder which he hid away - presumably so he could continue his affair in a place he thought she couldn't see?

[nequidnimis]

Just to answer some questions -

She doesn't know whether he deleted WhatsApp after she discovered the affair or not, she didn't ask him to. He may have done that, and reinstalled it 32 days ago, or he may just have changed his status 32 days ago I guess.

Yes it was hidden, he says he hid it during the affair.

My reference to 'discovery day' is that the OW's status changed 70-odd days ago and when my friend counted back that was actually the day she discovered the affair.

[Mrsmorton]

I thought it was the last time they messaged using the app. I use it to check old acquaintances are still alive...

[Mrsmorton]

this suggests OW hasn't been whatsapping since discovery?

[AuntyBatshit]

If she'd clicked on the app, say, yesterday, it would have said "last active yesterday at..."...could she have somehow "activated" it when she clicked on it?

[honeycrest]

Mrsmorton that's referring to 'last seen online' which is different to the time located next to the status. The OP said that her friend has ascertained that the OW does still use the app regularly by checking this.

Maybe your friends H informed the OW that they'd been rumbled and in a panic she deleted it then reinstalled thinking that would delete all the chats? That could explain the status update coinciding with 'd day'.

[tribpot]

Her DH was 'last seen' on Sunday night

This is the key bit for me. This is the last time he logged in to the app. But now I understand from your first post she didn't discover the app until yesterday and he deleted it then?

He doesn't seem to have claimed to be using it to contact anyone else, so why was he on it on Sunday? How actually remorseful was he when his affair was discovered, on a scale of 1 to 10?

[nequidnimis]

I wish that was the case Mrsmorton, but the counting next to the status is not the same as the 'last seen' date (which I believe is the last time the app was used).

It seems OW is using the app often, many times per day, but the time next to the status reads 32 days.

So I guess all our sleuthing shows is that OW changed her status on the day the affair was discovered, and remains very active, whilst her DH changed his status OR reinstalled the app 32 days ago while my friend was away from home and was using it a few days ago.

[Offred]

God... I never understand why people put themselves through this just to hold onto a broken relationship with a person who has terribly betrayed them.

[Offred]

Will she not consider knocking the relationship on the head?

[daisyJ123]

What Offred said. ^