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Love life gone down the drain

(9 Posts)
Coffeeislife2015 Tue 11-Aug-15 00:14:36

Hi ladies I made an account just to have a little input on this situation because I might just be overreacting. My boyfriend of 4 years and me have a one and half year old son. At first my bf wanted me to abort the child because we had money and no home of our own. Eventually he stuck around and a year later he brought a flat because i had to force him as my mum didnt want me and the baby to be in her council property. Now we are in the flat im looking after my son and a little kitten. I do all the housework, dishes, laundry, cooking, etc. My bf doesnt does it rarely as he doesnt believe he should controbute to the cleaning since hes working fulltime (but gets 5 days off a week) then he complains about our son doesnt want to deal with him and prefers to be on the laptop all day and have naps. I am even finding it hard to be attracted to him because he farts all the time and burps even before sex and i just find it a turn off but he finds it funny. Then we dont even have sex as he wanted to sleep quickly and snores so loudly that i just feel upset but i just hide it. He does alot i know he pays the bills but im not sure where the love has gone. Not only that he feels like its not his duty to deal with this life he has but im only 23 and hes 28 and i feel like maybe its not what he wants but is forced any advice?

holeinmyheart Tue 11-Aug-15 17:18:34

Mmm it looks as though you have made a mistake. So now what to do?
You need to get out and provide a happy environment for your son.
You can't afford a place of your own though.
Could you find another single mum to live with? You could share all the bills and if you found someone with a child the same age as yours , you could share babysitting etc.
You need to plan and save enough for a deposit. I think I would make that my aim in life in order to get away from this disgusting slob.

YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 12-Aug-15 15:01:15

hello there

We are just moving this to relationships.

pocketsaviour Wed 12-Aug-15 22:20:35

You can't force him to want to be a father to a child he didn't want.

Sounds like this relationship has run its course and your best bet will be to move on with your DS and sort yourself somewhere else to live.

IsItMeOrIsItHotInHere Wed 12-Aug-15 22:22:46

How can he work full time if he has 5 days a week off? confused

FolkGirl Thu 13-Aug-15 10:02:31

Oh dear. Well you've certainly made your bed. Do you want to lie in it, or strip it clear and make a new one? It's not what he wants. Is this really what you want?

I just wish that we, as a society, would stop peddling the idea to our girls that they need to meet a man, have a baby, settle down as their main goal. And then just put up with whatever shit comes afterwards.

It breaks my heart, and frustrates me no end, to keep reading stories like this on here.

Smilingforth Thu 13-Aug-15 21:38:05

I agree with pocket saviour; trying to force someone to do something they don't want to do won't work

SelfLoathing Thu 13-Aug-15 21:42:02

Doesn't sound like you are happy. And 23 is soooo young. What do you want?

Smilingforth Fri 14-Aug-15 08:22:43

I think you should think about whether there is a close friend or family member you could talk this through with - it's very hard

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