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Dealing with a crush

(4 Posts)
Allbymyselfagain Mon 10-Aug-15 22:48:37

Ive been friends with a really nice guy let's call him tom now for over a year. Some of you will have read the crap I went through with my ex and part of it was his jealousy over this Tom being my friend. He thought tom fancied me and I had to keep reassuring him that he didn't and that i didn't fancy him either.

Since we split I can't seem to get tom out of my head. I know it's linked to the crap my ex put me through and his constant going on that Tom fancied me and I was going to cheat on him. Before I never looked at Tom in this way thinking instead that he just a really sweet guy that was nice and flirty with everyone. Everyone of my friends thinks he's great. But now I can't stop thinking of him like this. I really really really fancy him, im engineering ways to see him and hoping he turns up when we all go out. Im thinking of trips I can suggest for us all to go on just to spend time with him. Basically it's starting to influence my behaviour and distract me from what I actually wNt to focus on.

How do I stop a crush? Ive never had one before not even a teenage pop star style crush. I don't want to date, im the happiest I've been in a long time just being single. But this guy keeps popping into my thoughts and plans. Help before I do something stupid!

Pucaet Mon 10-Aug-15 23:42:25

You don't need to stop it and you don't need to persue a relationship either, just enjoy it for what if is- a bit of a fantasy and harmless flirting but nothing serious. Crushes can be kind of fun

Allbymyselfagain Tue 11-Aug-15 11:36:36

If it were fun I wouldn't worry. Im starting to get a bit obsessed I think. Thinking a lot and talking a lot about him. Is that normal? Like I say ive never had a crash before

middleeasternpromise Tue 11-Aug-15 11:46:33

Crushes can be a right PITA esp if you have too much time on your hands!! If you are seriously interested in Tom - make a move and set your mind at peace, if he's not interested that's that if he is - you will have to deal with the fallout out from Mr EX saying 'I knew it' 'told you' and other such malarkey, but at least you will have Tom. Will Tom turn out to be all you imagined, only time will tell.

If you are seriously not interested in Tom and just find your bored self playing mind games - then you might need to take proper control and go the other way totally ie intrusive thought re Tom - cold shower/ice bucket definitely DONT go to the event Tom will be at and do something else - if you starve the thoughts it will stop.

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