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Is it time to go?!

(8 Posts)
Rebecca1608 Mon 10-Aug-15 17:29:38

Had twins almost 11 weeks ago and been with my OH since January last year and he wasn't very supportive during my pregnancy and didn't want to talk about it also didn't buy anything for the girls and expected me to help with most bills despite being on a maternity wage.
After the girls arrived he insisted on a joint account (i only pay in what i can) as it would help support me and the girls but still doesn't help with the housework. Cooking. Washing and as much as he loves the girls every time he has to help (he helps with 2 feeds and i do the rest) or has to help with baths it's a massive deal and i feel bad for asking.
We'd had a few minor bickers over the last few weeks sleep deprived and frustrated as i can't leave the house (steps outside are hard with pram) i've been stuck in. We are moving out in 2 weeks to a more practical house. I said sometimes he has to understand i get down just looking out of the window with just the girls as company i am unable to get out to take them anywhere.
I've cried so much over the last few weeks as i feel i am banging my head against a brick wall. We went out on saturday night which i was dreading as i'm not confident in myself anymore gone from size 10 to 14 and put on 2 stone but i still had a lovely night with him i had 3 drinks and all of a sudden on the way home he started having a go at me saying i lose my temper sometimes and he is sick of it and this went on for ages. I cried in bed for 2 hours and ended up saying sorry and i never go an apology back just told "maybe all you need is a good cry from time to time" i cried until i couldn't catch my breath.
I got a half hearted "sorry" yesterday morning but i am still thinking about it now as we have never had a blazing row like that and can't believe he didn't console me. I feel it could be the straw that broke the camels back. sad

TenForward82 Mon 10-Aug-15 17:34:09

Sounds like you could be suffering from Post Natal Depression - I'd say a visit to the GP urgently is in order.

Re: the pram and the steps - you CANNOT let that stop you going out. That's highly damaging. Even if you have to do 2 or 3 trips up the stairs, you CAN do it, get that butt out of the house and into the sunshine. You'll feel loads better for you. It's unhealthy to be stuck in the house all day with twins - no wonder you're going bonkers.

Remember your OP is probably feeling the effects of having new babies in the house (sleep deprivation, emotions), and isn't sure how to help you. He could be lashing out because he feels helpless.

Rebecca1608 Mon 10-Aug-15 17:50:59

My HV said for me to have a look at a sheet she gave me to answer questions and because i didn't sort of score a certain amount so to speak she doubted i had pnd and i was just tired. I just don't know if me and OH will get through it. He just shrugs off everything i say and don't want to feel like this in a new house.

TenForward82 Mon 10-Aug-15 17:54:25

I'd baypass the HV if she's not taking you seriously, and go to the GP.

Rebecca1608 Mon 10-Aug-15 19:00:32

Ok thankyou for your reply.

Handywoman Mon 10-Aug-15 19:29:51

Did you post about this 'partner' of yours when you were pregnant? Or have I got that wrong? Sorry if I'm wrong there.

Cabrinha Mon 10-Aug-15 19:44:18

I was told by midwife and HV that even if you get out for just a few minutes a day, getting out is so important for your mood. I remember one HV saying not to get all your shopping in one go so you had to pop out for top ups!

His behaviour is very concerning, but I'm just focusing on you getting out and about. Have you joined a twins group? Could be good for tips on getting moving with two.

Friends and family locally to come over and help you get out?

Have a look at twin carries in a sling, if your babies are big enough!

pocketsaviour Mon 10-Aug-15 19:55:34

Have you got very steep steps down to the street? I have and it's a nightmare trying to carry stuff down them. Do try to get out though - take the pram out first and park it on the street, then go back for the babies (a double sling might help.)

As to your partner - he sounds horribly unsupportive and I don't wonder you're feeling so down when you're trying to do everything yourself.

The house you're supposed to be moving to - are you buying, renting, if renting is it private or local authority? I don't think it's a brilliant idea to tie yourself financially with this man, however getting somewhere more accessible would be better for you whether you're with him or not, so it will depend on the circs.

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