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Should I reply to this nasty message?

(30 Posts)
sanityforlunch Mon 10-Aug-15 17:03:09

I met a man a few times several months ago but called it off as I have a lot going on at the moment. He contacted me on Facebook recently to ask if I wanted to meet up for a 'friendly coffee.' He was so nice about it I said ok.

As the dc are off school for the summer I couldn't find any free time so said, let's make it in September. He said, fine, you're worth waiting for, can we keep in touch.

My phone has been pinging all weekend, how's you, what you up to, etc. Every time he messaged my heart sank. So I sent a nice message yesterday saying, sorry can we leave it after all, I wish you all the best.

Last night he sent me a long message saying, why did you change your mind, how can you be sooooo busy you can't see me, you're a horrible despicable excuse for a human being and I've had a lucky escape, you don't deserve good wishes...

I am actually quite upset by it. I blocked his number and haven't responded. I really want to say something but worried it will become a slanging match. Shall I respond or leave it?

milliemanzi Mon 10-Aug-15 17:05:07

I wouldn't give him he satisfaction of replying.

LovelyFriend Mon 10-Aug-15 17:05:51

do the happy dance OP - you dodged a bullet while wasting minimal time on a nasty loser.

Block, delete, ignore, celebrate!

scrumpkin Mon 10-Aug-15 17:06:30

I would personally leave it and forget all about him. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you're riled.

sanityforlunch Mon 10-Aug-15 17:06:37

True! thanks that makes me feel better.

IthoughtATMwasacashpoint Mon 10-Aug-15 17:06:57

My advice would be to leave it. I think any communication from you now would result in another avalanche of texts and calls then abuse when it didn't get him anywhere. He sounds a bit stalkerish, best left very much alone.

TheHoundsBitch Mon 10-Aug-15 17:07:06

I would be tempted to say something like "Clearly it's me who has had the lucky escape, you fucking weirdo." and then block any further contact!

PatSharpIsMyBoyfriend Mon 10-Aug-15 17:07:34

Sounds like he was rather fond of you, has some emotional issues or both. Is there a point replying to someone who behaves in such an irrational way? It will fan the flames and achieve nothing.

Coffeemarkone Mon 10-Aug-15 17:07:44

totally ignore and thank God you escaped!!

sanityforlunch Mon 10-Aug-15 17:07:54

Haha! Would love to do that.

hotCocolepew Mon 10-Aug-15 17:08:19

Leave it, it will probably annoy him even more if you ignore it anyway.

TheHoundsBitch Mon 10-Aug-15 17:08:25

But, yes, leaving it is probably the more sensilbe thing to do! grin

ArseForElbow Mon 10-Aug-15 17:09:02

Your silence will annoy him more, I had an experience like this recently.

BerylStreep Mon 10-Aug-15 17:10:49

Does he have your address?

Caprinihahahaha Mon 10-Aug-15 17:11:05

Yes - totally ignore.
That will irritate him enormously.

CheersMedea Mon 10-Aug-15 17:11:15

Leave it.

If it makes you feel better, I think there is a website full of similar evilness from men being rejected when online dating. I saw it posted on here once - maybe worth googling for it (sorry don't have it myself) so you can see this isn't uncommon.

Someone else may have the link.

RuffDiamond Mon 10-Aug-15 17:14:43

Leave it. If you respond you will seem affected. I know you are but don't let him the satisfaction of knowing you are!

CharlotteCollins Mon 10-Aug-15 17:15:48

If you reply, he'll probably apologise and be charming and full of compliments to you. And then you may go back to thinking that because he's nice you'll give him a bit of your time...

Far better to ignore. And celebrate!

perplexedpirate Mon 10-Aug-15 17:41:04

Nothing you say will be as powerful as radio silence.
Congratulations, you have spared yourself a whole load of grief! wine

sanityforlunch Mon 10-Aug-15 17:58:18

Thanks I want to call him everything but will restrain myself.

honeyroar Mon 10-Aug-15 18:53:55

Yes, ignoring him is the most sensible policy. However I probably would have texted him back saying "this message is a perfect example of why I didn't like you/want to go out", then block him!

LineRunner Mon 10-Aug-15 18:56:46

Do not fan any flames here.

Leave well alone.

Smorgasboard Mon 10-Aug-15 19:01:02

Lol, I've never responded to a 'how's you ?', message. Leaves me cold as so uninspiring. If someone can't be more imaginative and personalised the why bother!

Epilepsyhelp Mon 10-Aug-15 19:03:44

#byefilipe on Twitter (I think this is what a PP was referring to). Stunning how abusive rejected men can become.

You dodged a clear bullet OP, good instincts.

handfulofcottonbuds Mon 10-Aug-15 19:05:48

He wants a reaction, any kind of reaction from you. Do not respond. Just block.

What an idiot!

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