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Shocked at what i found tonight

(183 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

SiliconDollMansWife Mon 10-Aug-15 00:18:08

As my new name change suggests, i found something shocking tonight.

DH and i were having a BBQ in the garden. A storm broke and it rained heavily out so we continued to eat in the summer house. I venturd back into the house alone to get something and realised DH had left the Velux window in his office open and water was pouring into the stairwell and storage room below. I grabbed a mop and ventured down there to do a quick clean up. I do not normally go in this room becuase it is off DH's office and is just used for storing his gym equipment and sports equipment. My end of the mop must have banged a cupboard door and it swung open.

Inside was 1 lifesize silicon sex doll, a spare head with different hair, a half a sex doll, just a torso with no arms and legs or head. Both dolls had tits like Dolly Parton. I shut the door, put on my mum head and continued with the bbq. After putting the DCs to bed i told DH.

He said it was because since having DC2, a nightmare of a child, we had been having little sex. Insisted he loved me, later said that he thought i didn't take care of myself, had not lost the baby weight etc.

He is now asleep and i am lying awake. What the fuck do i do? We live abroad. I have no job and cannot work. DC2 is a fecking nightmare child, i can't handle him/her alone.

LaurieFairyCake Mon 10-Aug-15 00:27:04

Yuk. Your Dh is blaming you for being less attractive than a plastic doll?

What a total fucker. Hopefully you'll get angry and get rid of him, popping the dolls with a pin on your way out.

flowersflowersflowers - you poor thing. We'll all hold your hand.

It's not you. It's him.

SiliconDollMansWife Mon 10-Aug-15 00:30:38

You can't pop the doll it is solid. Fuck knows how he had it delivered to our house without me noticing. It must have cost a fortune too. Just so shocked.

He said he tried to get rid of it but it wad hard as it is so big. He later admitted to using it once or twice a week. When i go to gym class on a
Monday night. Fecking tomorrow.

SiliconDollMansWife Mon 10-Aug-15 00:32:26

Fecking bastard is sleeping soundly, i am wide awake.

He isn't a dirty old man either, he is young, good looking, cool. I just find it so surprising that he did it.

CatsandCrumble Mon 10-Aug-15 00:36:18

Ugh. Some kind of irony there that he thought you hadn't taken care of yourself but he was using them when you're at gym class.

Reekypear Mon 10-Aug-15 00:38:33

Bright's not alive and wanting to rob your husband.

SiliconDollMansWife Mon 10-Aug-15 00:39:59

Yes at gym class but still another 2 stone to go. Plus no gym class is going to boost me from a c cup to a g or whatever the fecking doll is.

I don't want to give up on my marriage though. It would be a minefield.

SiliconDollMansWife Mon 10-Aug-15 00:41:15

He did say it was better than having an affair or using prostitutes. I think that is how he justified it to himself.

CatsandCrumble Mon 10-Aug-15 00:42:16

No advice - no idea how I'd react to something like that. Maybe couples counselling would help to find a way to talk it through?

minkGrundy Mon 10-Aug-15 00:42:38

Blimey OP flowers

SiliconDollMansWife Mon 10-Aug-15 00:45:10

I think he would be open to counciling but i just couldn't imagine myself sitting there and explaining to a stranger what happened. The humiliation.

CatMilkMan Mon 10-Aug-15 00:50:14

Your husband has a sex toy, a creepy sex toy.

CatsandCrumble Mon 10-Aug-15 00:50:56

I'm sure they'd have heard much worse. At least it isn't an affair with a real woman, although that might be less shocking in some ways.

SiliconDollMansWife Mon 10-Aug-15 00:51:01

Yep that is pretty much it.

bjrce Mon 10-Aug-15 00:55:11

OMG, When I read your thread initially, I thought you were going to say, how do I confront him with this?, but you did and from your post he didn't even have the decency to be embarrassed, but had the temerity to actually blame you. I would be furious, that was totally disrespectful to you.
I don't know whether I would A. burn them B. Introduce them to his friends when they next visit to humiliate him, although right now, its you who feels humiliated.
I would tell him to start looking forward to getting a lot more action from his "dolls" as there's no way I would be going anywhere near him.
Your best revenge would be to get your body back in "rocking shape" and walk round the house semi-nude and torture him!

SiliconDollMansWife Mon 10-Aug-15 00:58:06

He said he wasn't blaming me rather explaining why he did it. He was sorry but after a while of talking he cut to the chase and explained why he did it. I just want to wake up in the morning and this be a bad dream.

cozietoesie Mon 10-Aug-15 00:59:18

They're not actually that expensive.

CatMilkMan Mon 10-Aug-15 01:00:29

To be completely honest I wouldn't have a huge problem if my DP had a life size sex doll. I would be weirded out but it's a sex toy I don't have a problem with her having a dildo and I wouldn't have a problem if it was attached to a stand or a fake body.
The comments obviously need to be addressed and if you don't want the doll in the house it should be removed.
Do you have a pig farm near by, they might eat it or a metal bath full of acid if the tip won't accept it.

Garlick Mon 10-Aug-15 01:03:59

Those things are weird! Mumsnet had a phase of gruesome fascination with them, which I caught like the flu - I spent many evenings on their specialist forums, where members get together to take their dolls on holiday and post snaps of them relaxing in the pool, rustling up dinner in the kitchen, and of course posing seductively on beds.

For men who prefer dolls to breathing humans, my feelings are mixed - they aren't doing any harm, but then again they're clearly not prepared to even start liking women as people. It's very odd. I'd be profoundly upset to find my partner felt I was somehow interchangeable with a fuckable dummy! I admire your ability to contain your shock.

For god's sake don't start thinking you have to make yourself look like the dummy for his sake! That way madness lies, absolutely!

As to where to go from here ... ? I don't know. How come you can't leave? Would you consider returning to blighty?

SiliconDollMansWife Mon 10-Aug-15 01:05:06

I don't know if any pig farmer. Thought about dumping it in the middle of the night somewhere and hoping the council would take it away. But so many things could go wrong. It feels like the background to some Only Fool and Horses comedy sketch. It would be so funny if it wasn't my own real life.

SiliconDollMansWife Mon 10-Aug-15 01:07:25

I couldn't leave without the DCs, i think i might be breaking the law by taking them out of their country of residence to live elsewhere without a court order or permission from DH. DH does not want to split.

Oliversmumsarmy Mon 10-Aug-15 01:09:29

He did say it was better than having an affair or using prostitutes.


I think I would prefer if dh had an affair it was with a real live woman not a piece of rubber.

SiliconDollMansWife Mon 10-Aug-15 01:09:38

Back to bed, i need to try to sleep, DCs will be up in a few hours. Thanks everyone

bjrce Mon 10-Aug-15 01:12:38

Listen, don't be so hard on yourself, you got an awful shock and it really wasn't a nice thing to discover, no doubt it did nothing for your self confidence, you need to explain this to your H. He no doubt didn't reckon on you finding these, although he showed very poor judgment in buying these in the first place without discussing his issues with you, he should have been more honest.
As always it could have been a lot worse if you discovered something like emails to an OW or dating sites.
You will get over this, try not to let it worry you too much, remember this is no reflection on you, he fucked up here and showed poor judgment not you. All you can do is sit down and really talk about you as a couple and how to move forward.

CatMilkMan Mon 10-Aug-15 01:13:27

Sleep well, hopefully things look brighter in the morning.

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