At the time of my split with DH a couple of years ago, I was manipulated into taking the fall for the whole thing.
We had an unusually happy marriage and the divorce was a bombshell. I was taken by suprise and was in such severe shock for a while that I was not eating and actually needed medication to sleep etc.
Anyone who has read the midlife crisis script on here: it was that exactly.
Dropped out of nowhere by a particularly loving and devoted DH. Blamed, told it was my fault, history re-written, devalued...thrown out with the trash.
I had no time to realise that my beloved DH had done all the hard work behind my back of telling mutual friends, my BELOVED inlaws and the rest of his family and his children (who I raised) that the divorce was my fault that he was the victim and he gave complex and completely fictional reasons.
While I was holed up for several months on my sister's sofa having thrice weekly therapy and trying to figure out why my absolutely lovely DH had turned into satans spawn he was busy calling friends and his family in tears, telling them all the stuff I had done to drive him to leave me and they actually felt sorry for him.
All of it was absolute total and utter bull shit, but nevertheless, they only heard the lies because I was too devastated to speak up and to be honest - could not fully believe he was not on my side.
It has taken me two years to get REALLY angry. Up until now, I think the shock, trauma just prevented me from connecting that that side of it. I just laid down and died. Let him destroy me and did nothing.
I was wondering if anyone felt that there was any point in standing up for myself now?
Is there any point?
I could easily send evidence of the real truth of why he left and did what he did (the sex with prostitutes, i have screen shots of his emails to them and his letters to me where he admits to lying to everyone because he is a coward) and I was wondering whether fighting back would make me feel better or worse?
I'm not one for vengeance, but I am just so angry. His parents in particular really, really hurt me. I adored DH and riased their grandkids as my own and I was cast out by all of them because he fancied fucking someone else - yet he told them lies to make them think it was me.
Would you do something? Or would I just hate myself worse? Leave it to karma? Showing anyone the evidence I had would destroy him completely.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Would you tell them all the truth? Or is vengeance a hollow win?
tellnobody · 09/08/2015 16:22
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