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What do you do when it just hits you at random times?????

(6 Posts)
Coooeee Sun 09-Aug-15 14:49:46

Am fighting back the tears.... Just looked at facebook so stupidly ( have gone cold turkey off it for a week but had a friend request from a very old dear friend I had lost touch with) and I saw photos of him in what was our house. Have deleted the app off my phone but am in bits. We split in March, we were sposed to get married 6 weeks today and have just turned Into an emotional wreck. When on earth will it get better? I just want to flop on my bed and cry until I can't cry no more..... But I cant .... Got to keep going for the kids

notrocketscience Sun 09-Aug-15 14:58:36

Go have your cry. Part of growing up is understanding that adults are allowed emotion too. If the children see you upset, yes they will be upset but you can tell them "it's ok, mummy is just having a sad moment and will feel better very soon". (Dependent on age appropriateness how you phrase it).

We've all been there. So tempting to look on fb and next you know is you are in bits again. Deleting is good so give yourself a tick for that one.

Some days it will be all too much and at others you'll find it's not so bad. Gradually you will notice the periods of not thinking about it or him will grow longer as the raw emotions die down. A rough estimate is one month of grief for every year you were together. It will get better, promise.

pocketsaviour Sun 09-Aug-15 15:02:09

It will take time to process this loss and to heal. Give yourself a break, it's only been 5 months and it's not like it was a short term thing.

If Facebook helps you keep in touch with friends (that's what I use mine for as I move areas a lot) then keep it, but you must block him, to make sure you're not ambushed by pics etc which are going to make you feel worse.

This may also mean deleting some mutual friends (or unfollowing them for now). When I split with my ex I had to delete his kids from my FB as it was just too upsetting. I hated to do it as I was very fond of them all. But a clean break is better. flowers

Newtobecomingamum Sun 09-Aug-15 15:05:09

You poor thing. I went through an awful break up many years ago and it bloody horrible to go through. I thought my life was over.

Right... Step away from sodding Facebook and any other social media with him in it. It will only make you miserable and upset you.

You need to keep busy, no matter how hard it feels keeps yourself busy.. As it will distract your mind. Focus on your children, they need and love you. Can you get some 'me time' and get someone to watch the children and if you have the money go and get a massage or facial, go and meet friends for a cocktail lunch (but do not talk about ex) or go for a swim or run. Try and keep your days as full as possible taking kids out even just to park for picnics etc, doing house chores, getting fit. Look at this as a new start!! I met my now hubby literary 2m later (I know it sounds rushed but we literally just came across each other and it was love at first sight!) and there's nothing stopping you meeting the right person further down the line.

Concentrate on you and KEEP busy and time is the best healer (although it does not feel like it now) I promise it gets better. x

Coooeee Sun 09-Aug-15 15:36:03

Thank you people - think he has totally distinguished any self esteem I once had and it's hurting at the moment sad

Coooeee Sun 09-Aug-15 18:53:37

I took your advice and went down the beach and took baba for a paddle and a picnic tea - feel better now smile now just gotta contend with bath and bedtime now and get ready for his contact day tomorrow sad

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