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Well that went really f****g wrong!

(48 Posts)
midlifehope Sat 08-Aug-15 17:14:01

Am 35 weeks pregnant and got one of those plaster of Paris belly cast thingies. Asked dp to do it as you have to get your boobs and belly out. He put it off for ages and finally agreed today.
However he was huffing and puffing, pulling faces, grimacing and saying he couldn't do it, didn't like it, etc. ds was sweetly and enthusiastically trying to help, but dp was not involving him and was saying he was just getting in the way.

The whole thing was a disaster and eventually dp stormed off, said it looked crap and as I moved half the thing fell off. I pulled the rest off and started crying. A fricking disaster of something that was meant to be fun and sentimental.

Am really hurt and upset by how off put dp was by doing this. Have taken it as a big rejection of me and my pregnant body. Really hate him and upset now. What could have caused his ridiculous reaction? Many other friends partners I know have done this without drama. hmmconfusedhmmconfusedhmmconfusedhmmconfusedhmm

PecanSandy Sat 08-Aug-15 17:18:52

flowers I don't know why anyone would do that, but I'm sorry.

SurlyCue Sat 08-Aug-15 17:20:39

Hmm its not something i'd relish doing tbh. Its not everyone's cup of tea.

WRT the sentimental aspect, surely it should be something you both want to do for it to be a treasured memory rather than something one coaced the other into doing?

woowoo22 Sat 08-Aug-15 17:20:52

It is quite a crafty thing and tbh I would run a mile as would feel too clumsy to do it? But then, he should have said no, ask a friend.

midlifehope Sat 08-Aug-15 17:24:03

Perhaps I am assuming everyone enjoys doing it, as I would!

Not sure about asking a friend - I have large boobs and would feel self conscious about getting them out! A friend has offered, bt feel it should be an intimate thing

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Sat 08-Aug-15 17:26:10

He really didn't want to do it. You pestered him into it. The result was entirely predictable.

GemmaTeller Sat 08-Aug-15 17:27:04

I'm sorry it went wrong for you.

As much as DH loves babies and toddlers and has all the patience in the world with them plus he wouldn't have a problem with my pregnant body he wouldn't do a cast and he would be the last person I would ask - its too fiddly, messy, 'crafty' and needs more patience than he has with that kind of thing.

gaggiagirl Sat 08-Aug-15 17:28:10

I would probably act like a dick if I was asked to take a plaster cast of DPs body parts. Sounds like a right fuck on.
I'm sorry that you feel down as it was very important to you but I think all parties have to be on board with the sentiment of this.

SurlyCue Sat 08-Aug-15 17:28:19

have large boobs and would feel self conscious about getting them out! A friend has offered

Poundland do these dead thin wireless soft bras. Could you wear one of those?

Costacoffeeplease Sat 08-Aug-15 17:28:44

Sounds like he was never keen on it, and especially not being forced to do it, can't say I blame him tbh

Betsyblue Sat 08-Aug-15 17:30:19

Sorry you feel bad about it.

But- I would hate to do this too and so would my husband. Your DP really didn't want to do it, so as a pp said, the result was entirely predictable. I would probably have reacted the same way if I was forced into doing something similar- although I'm not saying it would be the best way to handle it!

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Sat 08-Aug-15 17:30:23

But he should have been kinder to you.

wonderingsoul Sat 08-Aug-15 17:30:33

I'm with you op even if he thought it was the lamest thing possible he should have ducked it up and done it with grace because he knew it meant a lot to you.

It's not like you was asking him to do something good that'd hurt him or even take up to much time.

I'm sorry he ruined it for you and that he soon packs his ideas up and says he's sorry.

G1veMeStrength Sat 08-Aug-15 17:31:05

I'm sorry he did that. Fwiw I did one with just my bump, with some girl friends - didn't occur to me to involve DH - and it just sits in a box now.

Vatersay Sat 08-Aug-15 17:34:39

A friend of mine did this and had it on display in her house, decorated in lots of jazzy colours. It received erm mixed reactions.

If you are self conscious about showing your breasts I wonder that you want a cast of them in display.

My friend found that it took up an annoying amount of space and eventually ended up on top of the wardrobe. When she moved out of her flat the removal men refused to move it, it had to go in the car. grin

ILovedYouYesterday Sat 08-Aug-15 17:35:44

I really don't think it's him feeling negative about your pregnant body.

I imagine he just couldn't be arsed and that's why he's kept putting it off, hoping if he ignored it, it would go away!

I have some sympathy with him as it not something I'd be mad keen on doing - sounds like a lot of mess and bother - but it's a shame he couldn't just suck it up as it obviously meant a lot to you.

Not quite the same but, when I was pregnant with DS1 (now 20!) there was a series on TV all about how babies develop from conception to 3 years old (or something) I videod it all and was desperate for DH to sit down and watch it with me as it was of huge interest to me and I wanted him to be just as keen but he kept putting it off and putting it off until I finally accepted he just couldn't be arsed with it and just watched it myself sad

Isetan Sat 08-Aug-15 17:41:26

Look, you've assumed that your idea of sentimentality and closeness was shared by your H, it wasn't. He's rejecting the faff that is casting a human and not your pregnant body specifically. I know it's in fashion but it's also not my cup of tea and having my child involved would put me right off.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks Sat 08-Aug-15 17:46:11

If he was so against doing it that he couldn't do it without huffing and puffing and generally being off, he should've just refused. I'm not surprised you're upset Midlifesad. Personally I think body casts can look really good, especially when professionaly done.

midlifehope Sat 08-Aug-15 17:54:20

I take the points about not everyone being crafty and into that sort of thing. But it does mean a lot - I will probably never be pregnant again.

Also it bugs me how blokey and unsentimental he is in general - like living with an absent flat mate half the time, and that emphasised that.

He's now gone off sailing but has called to apologise, said he felt guilty and bad, couldn't get into it but will try again another time.

SurlyCue Sat 08-Aug-15 18:05:39

Thats good that he realise he was badly behaved about it! And that he will give it another go!! All sounds good.

Wrt him being unsentimental and blokey, surely thats the person you chose? You cant blame him for being who he is!

goddessofsmallthings Sat 08-Aug-15 18:06:57

Won't photos of your pregnant body at various stages suffice and take up a lot less space?

If you manage to have a cast made, where will you keep it?

wonderingsoul Sat 08-Aug-15 18:09:29

I'm glad he's realised how grumpy and mean he'd been.

scarletforya Sat 08-Aug-15 18:11:16

Lots of people don't like pregnant bodies. I don't like them. The belly gives me the heebie jeebies, I here when the belly button pops. Makes me queasy. Don't like the veiny look of it either. I disliked being pregnant and had no wish to be reminded of it.

Your dh is probably the same.Don't take it so personally.

midlifehope Sat 08-Aug-15 18:34:07

Yes scarlet he has said gets freaked out by the belly and doesnt want to touch it.... I don't get that at all

SurlyCue Sat 08-Aug-15 19:22:24

Midlife dont take it personally. My own (perfectly average) stomach makes me feel queasy. I dont like touching it and really couldnt cope with EXp wanting to rub it when i was pregnant. He got really offended and thought it meant i didnt want him touching me full stop. It really wasnt that.

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