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I don't trust my judgement right now. And I need advice, quick. :(

105 replies

takenlikeafool · 07/08/2015 20:14

This might end up as being really long, so apologies in advance. I'm doing this as anon just in case there is any backlash.

So, about 3-4 weeks ago, I joined Match.com.. impulse decision after being single for about 2 years, and having not dated anyone for just over 1. I met someone very quickly - lets call him David - within 24 hours on a Sunday morning, and arranged a date for that Thursday. A quick drink in a pub.

On the Tuesday, a colleague set me up with a friend. I arranged the date for Wednesday, thinking it's best to get it out the way cause I didn't really feel any attraction, definitely nothing like David. I told David, just to be totally transparent. And he called the date off, saying it was a bit 'weird' and that he was a 'one man girl'.

Fair enough. I went on the date with the colleagues friend, wasn't great as predicted. In fact it was really awkward. On the Thursday, I took a punt and asked David out for a drink. He said yes. Hoorah!!

We met that night, had a drink, ended up getting some food, and then going to McDonalds to get a Mcflurry! Totally hit it off, and it was literally love at first sight. He literally took my breath away when I first saw him, and I've never experienced anything like it. While we were eating our McFlurry's we spoke about us, and I said I would delete my Match account. I didn't feel like I needed it anymore, and anyway, at least this way I could get a refund, hahaha. He agreed, and said he would do the same, that we should only date each other, that he wouldn't even look at another girl etc etc. We kissed. A lot. It was the perfect, sweetest date.

At this stage, I should mention, I am 24. He is 43. Just an FYI. I generally like older guys, and so it suits me. He's divorced, no kids.

That weekend, we spent together. Saturday, we went to a park, I went back to his place, and I very nearly went all the way with him. I ended up giving him head. He loved it.. as most do. Sunday, I cooked a dinner for him, and we slept together. Way too quick, I know. Shit happens.

I see him on Wednesday. Cook dinner for him. Have sex again. Also end up having anal. Really good night again. I offer, but he doesn't stay. Leaves very late.

He's busy for the rest of the week and the weekend. We see each other again this Tuesday. Go for a meal in the middle of town, which is really lovely. I pay, and he's pretty shocked at that, but doesn't argue when I insist. We go back to mine. Have cuddles, have sex. It was absolutely incredible, and so incredibly passionate and loving.

The next day - Wednesday, we arranged to see each other again. And he asked if I'd like to stay with him, I excitedly accepted - he's been quite nervous about sleeping over at mine, so I thought I might as well do it first and ease his nerves a bit. It was a lovely night, if not a bit awkward, as the first night together normally is. We got a takeaway, watched a couple of films. Had sex. It was pretty good. Post coital, we had a little cuddle, and played on our phones.. he was showing me stuff on his Facebook.. while doing so, a notification from Plenty of Fish popped up: 'XXXXX wants to meet you!!'.

What the fuck. He tries to swipe it away, but I've already seen it. I didn't even know he was on Plenty of Fish, as well as Match. I don't say anything, until later when I see all his apps, and I make a comment about him having a load of dating apps. 'Ahh, yeah, I can't be bothered to delete them'.

ooookay.

At this stage, we go to bed and I don't mention anything about it again. I'm gutted and totally in shock, even though I don't know whether he's active or not.

I mention everything to my housemates when I get back home on Thursday night after work. And we decide to look for his profile. We find it, and find out he has been 'online today'. Okay, it might just be him logging in from the night before... we'll try again later.

At this point, we make an actual (totally fake) profile, and 'show interest' in him. Today, I've found out he has looked at my profile. I've also seen he's been online on POF and Match at the same time as the fake profile.

So now, I'm not sure what to think. I know I've totally gone OOT but I also think if we were meant to be exclusive then he shouldn't be online on the dating apps at all.. I know I wouldn't have stayed over at his, and I definitely wouldn't have had any form of sex with him if I had known he was still crawling through the sites.

Am I right to be angry and hurt? I'm not quite sure what I should do know - do I stay quiet and just carry on? After all we've only been dating for a couple weeks. Or do I mention it?

I think I'd like to mention it, but I'd have to do it over text because I just couldn't bear for him to know that I'm really upset about it.. I don't even know what to say. AIBU?? Any advice or observations would be great. x

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SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 07/08/2015 20:17

He's a player. Get rid.